Carpe Diem

somebody i used to know BY gotye

2011-11-18T21:13:00.002+08:00

this is a very meaningful song...a very good tune to it too^^

Now and then I think of when we were together

Like when you said you felt so happy you could die

Told myself that you were right for me

But felt so lonely in your company

But that was love and it's an ache I still remember

You can get addicted to a certain kind of sadness

Like resignation to the end

Always the end

So when we found that we could not make sense

Well you said that we would still be friends

But I'll admit that I was glad that it was over

But you didn't have to cut me off

Make out like it never happened

And that we were nothing

And I don't even need your love

But you treat me like a stranger

And that feels so rough

You didn't have to stoop so low

Have your friends collect your records

And then change your number

I guess that I don't need that though

Now you're just somebody that I used to know

Now and then I think of all the times you screwed me over

But had me believing it was always something that I'd done

And I don't wanna live that way

Reading into every word you say

You said that you could let it go

And I wouldn't catch you hung up on somebody that you used to know...

But you didn't have to cut me off

Make out like it never happened

And that we were nothing

And I don't even need your love

But you treat me like a stranger

And that feels so rough

You didn't have to stoop so low

Have your friends collect your records

And then change your number

I guess that I don't need that though

Now you're just somebody that I used to know I used to know

That I used to know

Somebody...

interviews....

2011-10-03T15:04:00.002+08:00

interviews are scary. i should pen this down before i forget.

my first ever job interview....it was on the 14th of September when I received this miraculous phone call for me to come in for an interview. At first when I got the missed call I thought...must be some call operater from the bank calling about a new plan they have but when I called them back it was from SP. Again I thought wrong number....But when they transferred me through to the director it was for a job interview. A graduate position!! I couldn't be happier. I was already giving up trying to get a job before year end and here i was being offered a job and an accountant one too. So the interview was on the 19th. I had time to prepare and seriously..all the questions were asked. what makes u suitable for the job, what kind of pay would u like, what weakness would u like to change of yourself if u had the chance, what the role offered, given a difficult situation what would you do, what kind of environment do u work best in, etc. it was about 20-30minutes and it did go well cause i got the job!!! funny part was that the person hiring me frequents the New Zealand Natural that i work at. what a coincidence huh...

today (the 3rd of Oct) i went for another interview. this one was truly a blessing. its a position for a graduate business analyst and it sounds really exciting doesnt it? bit more exciting than an accounting one. i got this call not long after the first interview. it was the 21st Sept and I was at work. i was waiting for another call and i got this one. the first impression was not a good one. LOL. i couldnt hear what he said his name was and i totally forgot what this company was offering. i managed to get a toilet break and i called the guy back. he asked me what my goals were and i said to be a certified accountant (wrong answer!) the position was for a business analyst=.= then when he asked if i was enjoying this unit that i am currently taking i said not too well that i am having trouble coping =.= wrong again! this position requires me to understand especially this particular unit. sighs.....i thought this would be the end but u know what i got his name wrong!! i said nicky when it was ricky =.=

guess what tho....i got through the screening and was invited for an interview. he called me back on friday (was in class =.= and was having an exam that day) and told me to come in on 3rd oct for the first interview. i researched the company and it has been progressing fairly well. suddenly i was thinking why not? if i dont get the accountant one (that time i didnt know yet) then this would be a good alternative. and so here i am typing away after the interview. the two guys who interviewed me are fairly young and they have achieved so much. but as the interview progressed i felt that it wasn't reli right for me. my brain is dead when it comes to speed lately. i can do things fast but i can lose my train of thought in the middle of something =.=. horrible seriously. personal questions were ok but when he asked 99 squared i was like O.O i looked like an idiot. im gonna remember the answer for life 9801!!!!!! well things happen eh? and well im glad i went for it and im ready if i were told i did not succeed. but if i were told i did succeed (pengsan!)

back to studying....one more mid term to go!!!

electric shadows

2011-09-13T15:38:00.002+08:00

this chinese movie goes back to the days of the 1990s maybe. starts with a mute woman hitting a guy on the head with a brick while he was cycling by. the girl was taken into custody but told the guy to help her take care of her fish. weird starting and i relate this through the sypnosis as i missed the beginning of the movie.

anyway from where i started watching, it was a narration of how this young girl met and befriended this eccentric little boy who lives in the same village. these were during war times and these young children thrived on movies showed in the open on a huge screen. this girl and boy become best of friends.

but things changed when the boy had to move to his grandfather's place in another district. the girl was heartbroken and when her mum remarried she was lost and always showed anger. when a little brother came along, she felt that she was pushed aside and even tried to leave her brother in a forest. but the brother beared no ill will to her and the part was acted out by a very cute little boy indeed.

however....something bad happened soon after and while the brother was trying to be nice to her and took her to the movies when she banned from doing so.....he fell off the building and died. her stepfather was so angry that he slapped her across the face so hard that she lost her hearing ability. she left home and never came back. her parents lived in sadness and loneliness never truly recovering from their son's death.

coming back to the guy, i found out he was reading from the diary this girl who grew up to be the woman who hit him. coincidence eh? lol. and he found out she was watching over her parents from where she was living. and the reason she hit the guy was because he killed her dog when he knocked over some bricks while cycling by. that triggered a traumatic experience for her and she had to be rehabilitated. he met her and told her who he was and also brought her mum and stepdad to meet her while playing back movies that were long into her childhood days.

typing this out as i want to remember this movie. i didnt relate it as well but a movie worth watching....

help!

2011-08-10T20:35:00.002+08:00

sigh....

i want to believe that everything is alright. i want to believe that i am not stressed out. i want to believe that i won't worry anymore about every little detail. i want to believe that i won't be depressed come exams. i want to believe that i remember every detail of my life. i want to believe in alot of things but....

what's the difference between believing in something and actually knowing something is going to happen?

the difference that truly bothers me is that you don't worry that that something is going to happen when you know it is going to. but when you believe in something you usually hope either the opposite happens or the opposite doesnt happen. i know...its screwed up what i am saying here. well that is cause i am feeling so emo now.

i feel emo many times in a year huh??

sigh.... sad part is i can't turn to anybody and tell them what i feel. cause putting things into words always gets me into trouble. either the person does not understand or puts my view on things down their way and well it becomes their story doesnt it, no longer mine. that's when i shut up and well just listen. what people should realise is that if a person is talking about a problem he/she has, that person wants you to listen and let him/her let it out. if you turn it the other way round and make them listen, well yeah they listen but do they?

think about it.... has listening intently ever hurt u? instead don't you sometimes see things more clearly and actually see their views on things? well me....i've been on the listening side for too long. makes me quieter as time goes by. but has anybody stopped to actually ACTUALLY listen to what i say?

maybe there is... just a thought...

missing home

2011-07-29T21:21:00.002+08:00

today during the speaking test of my IELTS, i was asked bout my house back home. a weird question and i was a bit shell-shocked but i recovered and started picturing what my house looked like. i could see the front porch without any cars cause usually my parents will be out or we would be just coming back from shopping and the porch would only have prince at the front gate waiting for us to let him in the house.

the interior and exterior are simple. my parents are simple people and from them i learnt that simple is the best. why would you want a house full of stuff that you have no use for but just for it to look 'rich', full cause then it would amaze others at how well you must be doing. but no my parents are people who prefer neatness than clutter, space than crowdedness. so when you walk in the house from the hot day outside, you would be greeted by a waft of cool air in the house. and all you want to do for the rest of the day is rest in it for the rest of the day.

but guess what? i just thought of all these things to say. i couldn't relate how my house looks picturesque to me eventhough others may think it a little too simple. i felt as if i didn't do it justice. and i couldn't relate to the tester how i miss home so much. that that's the place i want to be at this very moment. not thinking bout doing the test early in the morning tomorrow. but in order for me to be home with the feeling of having done my best for the year i have to get through it no matter what. cause that's what will help me through the rest of the year.

luck....

2011-07-26T20:43:00.002+08:00

do u believe in lady luck? just luck? well everyone wants to right? that is why before someone goes for an exam you wish them luck. or when he/she is about to perform on a stage full of people, you wish them luck. cause i believe it is good to believe in luck. to me...it is like a blanket of security or at least a buffer to disappointment. doing your best and having luck would be the best combination to anything.

lately, i've taken to buying 'lotto'. it just started recently when $30million was up for grabs. i didn't win but i learnt that people want to believe that they will be lucky at least one of the times they buy a lottery ticket or gamble in a casino, cause surely lady luck will come upon them at least once. this is where the addiction starts though. you keep believing that you will strike one day and maybe you will but until you win first prize it wouldn't be enough.

the reason why i am suddenly into buying lottery is that i want to feel lucky. i want to feel that everything will go as plan. so far i have been quite fortunate and grateful for what i have. for the people i have around me. luck comes in different forms and for me its in the people i love, my family, my friends and of course my other half. these are all God's blessings and i am thankful that He is always there for me as well.

i will be taking an important test this weekend and i am hoping luck is on my side. i'm not sure if what i have studied and done so far is enough to get me through but what i know is that i have the support of all those around me, and to me, that is sufficient.

think about it....who/what is luck to you?

Greetings from Perth!

2011-04-17T12:42:00.003+08:00

i've finally moved into Tehani's place near the city!! wohoo!!

well it's been a while since i wrote a blog and ALOT has happened since then. and the moving excitement has died down a bit. especially with having to study for exams and assignments looming on every corner. and another reason i haven't been blogging is because i am much more comfortable in where i am than i was before. things are turning around for me in the uni life sense of the word. i liked where i was before but living with friends gives a whole new feel towards what fun is. i'm feeling more independent with the cooking that i have to do. yes....i'm cooking and am enjoying trying new recipes. own laundry, ironing and not having to feel bad when someone does it for u even if u didn't ask them too cause now i'm on my own. i do things at my pace and that's what makes it enjoyable. real freedom!

i have been reading a few books most of which i enjoyed especially the book by greg larsson. i've only read the first out of the trilogy. it was quite an interesting read and will read the rest during my winter break which will be long enough to finish the other two^^.

for now......another mid term paper to finish off and two more assignments to get done during the easter break. can't wait! another reason to be excited bout the break is that liang liang is coming to Perth!! i miss him soooo much and seeing him will make me less homesick. it'll be an awesome break even if i do nothing but watch tv and hang out with him =D. cause well that's just what i want to do and of course a 'side dish' of assignments -.-....

who said uni work could stop for fun? LOL

january 2011

2011-02-06T18:34:00.002+08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

its the rabbit year and i had a good start of the year. celebrated almost the whole of january with a very special person. headed to singapore for a wonderful 10 days of food, fun and shopping!! and most of all a full 1o days of him. went around singapore visiting his family and eating loads of singaporean food. one that i really love is mee siam ^^ something that penang does not have. went to orchard road for some window shopping (wasn't in the spending mood) but when i got to bugis street, i went ALL out! hehe. saw the CBD of singapore as well. ate the most delicious popcorn (forgot its brand already but it was super duper yummy!!) while walking around singapore.

what's best about this holiday is that it doesn't just end after 10days. he gets to meet my family after that. he was really nervous and the first day was tough but after the second he chose to stay for the rest of january. he did really well and i love him more for trying. i hope my parents feel the same way. he even cooked pasta for everyone (it was good...). we enjoyed ourselves going around penang and honestly, i've seen more of penang in the 2 weeks he was here than the 20 years i've lived here. LOL. penang heritage site, batu feringghi, teluk bahang and georgetown were the few places we went to. and he ate so much that my mum couldn't stop feeding him.

sadly, the holiday had to end with CNY coming along. sighs... i really hope i would see him soon. miss you, teddy bear T.T

movies....

2011-01-05T23:38:00.002+08:00

since i've been home, i haven't read much books though i did read a few jodi picoult books in addition to the one sophie kinsella book and also rereading of a cecelia ahern novel, but i've watch more movies in this month than i have in the past 8 or so months. it's sad i know....

i'm going on a movie spreeeeeee!!!!!! wohoo!!!

i've watched HP7 even though i already watched it in Australia, Rapunzel (an awesome movie yet again by disney), tron (not so good a movie by disney), gulliver's travels twice (silly movie but bearable).........these were all in the cinemas.

those on dvd....the list is super long but what i can tell u is that it is satisfying to watch tv once again. sighs...gonna miss this when i go back to big old Perth.

LIST OF MOVIES I CAN REMEMBER WATCHING IN THE PAST MONTH (besides the above):

1. the lovely bones

2. the social network

3. sherlock holmes (just earlier today)

4. cirque du freak: vampire's asst (also today)

5. alice in wonderland

6. knight and day (not that great)

7. hachiko: a dog's tale (heartbreaking story....must watch!)

8. all the Harry Potter movies

9. the a-team (very nice..)

10. the princess and the frog

11. despicable me

12. step up 3d

13. my sister's keeper (not the same as the book...book is definitely preferable)

14. ...

cant remember the rest. LOL. my memory is failing me....

HOME!!!

2011-01-05T23:24:00.003+08:00

being home especially on the first day was exciting. what with the plane being delayed for over an hour and almost missing my connecting flight. but all was good when i checked out of penang airport and saw the two most wonderful girls in my life; my mum and sister. i was just so happy that i start off with my usual ranting bout whatever it is i could say. about my trip, my life in perth, food i want to eat, everything!

the first week i was home, i got to eat everything i fantasized of during the past few months. wan tan mee, nasi lemak, jawa mee, beef noodles (which my aunty's fabulous cook made), the list goes on. i even got to visit all my cousins and uncles and aunties. in short my week was made hectic with my aunt from UK and her family being down in Penang. it was good to see them all.

the best part of being home is that i got to spend time with my dearest father, lovely mother and adorable sister after 8 months apart.

now that i've been home for about a month plus, i also realise some parts of being home that i don't really like. the first few weeks were good. i guess it is cause being so happy i don't see the cracks. they aren't big ones. but being so far away from home for so long, i was not used to it. a simple banter between my parents would make me shy away to my room while my sister sits in the living room reading her book seemingly oblivious to everything else around her. but i wonder....

every family has its own weakness. every parent worries for their child. every child would try to look out for their siblings. that's what family is. its not perfect but we make do. sometimes being away is healthy. but being away also makes me miss home and the good times. maybe that is what we're supposed to stick to....the good times.

O.O

2010-11-13T19:25:00.003+08:00

im bored.....and i can't seem to find someone to talk to. the house is full of people but yet i feel so lonely. i'm supposed to be studying, yet again...but that's because i have one more paper to go. but a girl can only study so much. watching tv is also boring. i really don't know what to do with myself.

my paper on monday will be horrible....cause i know only the tip of the iceberg. i have no intention of finding out what's underneath, at the rate i am going that is. all i can think of right now is that i feel fat, and i most probably am. it's just that i dont see it yet.

i cant wait to be home but yet i'm afraid to go home. it feels so long since i was last home. i'm afraid of all the changes i will see. i had a dream two days back. but i don't know what to make out of it. i dreamt that my ex turned up at a dinner i was at and he kissed me. a part of me wanted to kiss him back but i didn't. when he left though, i got up and went after him, like i always did when we used to argue. i couldn't find him and then.....i woke up. it felt so real. but i just couldn't point my finger to what caused me to dream about him. was i subconsciously thinking about him. is my current relationship not working out as it's supposed to?

until today, i've been in a foul mood. somehow len never fails to put me in a bad mood. and right now, when i have no one to turn to, its hard not to think about him. cause no matter how much he puts me in a bad mood...he didn't stop from making me happy. he was there every time i needed him....well, not everytime but u get my drift.

nothing is easy. i get that. it's just somehow i pictured life to be more than this. or is that how everyone feels? maybe we're doing something wrong? maybe we should be....

i don't know. i guess the only person who does is not gonna let us know either.

picture perfect

2010-11-13T12:02:00.003+08:00

everyone wishes that their lives would be perfect in every possible way. but do you think that's possible?

picture perfect is a another heart wrenching story of love and betrayal. how a person can love someone so much that even as she is hurt by him, she can never stop loving him and feel more hurt on his behalf. this story starts off with Cassie losing her memory and finds herself in a cemetery, all lost and alone. she meets Will who helps her along the way and becomes part of her life even as she regains memory of her past life. she finds herself the wife of an all-famous actor, Alex Rivers.

as life seems to be too good to be true, Cassie regains her memory after a round of abuse by her 'perfect' husband. she runs off to Will for help as she finds out she's pregnant, and is intent on saving her child from his father's abuse. the story goes on to depict how Cassie leads another life, a peaceful one in an Indian reservation.

i wasn't as affixed to this book as i was to the previous ones. it has a long and winding plot but good all the same. my perception on it was blurred by the load of studying i had to do along the way. all in all, picture perfect is something everyone can relate to.

if we had a chance to forget our past, would we keep it that way just so that life could seem perfect?

think about it though.....

what would a perfect life do if you are not happy.....wouldn't you keep wondering what was it that happened till all memory was wiped out?

having a non-perfect life is the most perfect life you can have...

problem is.....

2010-11-10T20:55:00.002+08:00

my bestie tells me that i should put my problems to words when i dont have anyone to talk to. but the problem is i dont know what the problem is. all i know is i can feel great one time then awful the next.

i feel like im going crazy!

as im studying, well trying to at least, i think of what my tutor told me bout the chances of me not passing this law unit. i remember after i came out from his office, i just felt like crying. even when he was talking i had to hold tears in. i was always one to cry for every small detail. and, at that point, i was lucky. i had friends to turn to. even though they weren't the closest of friends, they were friends who took notice of me, who still cared a little for me. that was all i needed to breakdown and cry my sorry story out. and once i did it, i realise others may have as bad or even worse a story than i had. should that always be in mind when i feel all emo? that someone out there may be having it worse than me??

its just at that moment, when you're feeling sorry for yourself and painful like daggers are stabbing you in the back, how can you feel sad or think about anybody else?

so tell me....am i crazy or plain human?

Thank You God

2010-11-10T16:05:00.003+08:00

as i am listening to the rain pattering heavily outside and the winds blowing the rains as hard on everything showing us who's in command....lol.....and of course listening to the song 'one of us' by glee....an awesome song btw. starting my glee craze again as second season has started!!! whohoo!!! something to relax me after finishing my auditing paper^^

you know how some days can suck real bad and some days can go just the way you want it and sometimes even better?

well....i've experienced these days recently. yesterday, for one, was a day that started off okay but turned out for the worse. i was having panic attacks and i couldn't sit still to study. auditing isn't one of my favourite subjects of all time. and as i continued studying, i couldn't bring myself to go on. i kept straying though everytime i tried relaxing it got worse. i started crying....i wanted to talk to someone but there wasn't anyone i could turn to. the two people i wanted to turn to had their own lives to lead and i was supposed to be doing the same. so....i was just plain emo till the end of the day. i went to bed early as i couldn't take it anymore. though one of those persons talked to me, and those few minutes helped me to clear my thoughts. sleep was possible.

glad that an awful day has passed....i woke up early to a brand new day. started it by.....studying! u guessed it. LOL. this horrible days waking up to study won't be for long. but anyway, studying was actually possible and much better than yesterday. i was feeling fresh and was on time. when i got to school i met a friend and we talked a bit before walking into the hall. i didn't realise it makes a lot of difference. it keeps me calm n relaxed. and the paper turned out to be not so bad after all. it was actually....good. hard to believe but it was do'able. LOL. i really hope i get a good grade though.....anyway, i managed to find out how to claim medical bills from my friend and i got home just in time before it rained. and the weather.....i can't believe im saying this but maybe its coz im bored of hot hot weather that this rain is actually making me feel gooooood^^ and to top it all off, i found a site that allowed me to watch glee season 2 first 2 episodes!!!

seriously, sometimes i think God allows bad days to happen just so he can give u a much better, wait, no, AWESOME day the next. so, thank you, dear God. for all the days you've given me in my life....

be thankful....for today is a gift!

one of us - Glee cast

2010-11-09T10:15:00.001+08:00

Lyrics:

If God had a name, what would it be
And would you call it to his face
If you were faced with him in all his glory
What would you ask if you had just one question?

And yeah yeah God is great yeah yeah God is good
yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

What if God was one of us
Just a slob like one of us
Just a stranger on the bus
Trying to make his way home
Trying to make his way home

If God had a face what would it look like
And would you want to see
If seeing meant that you would have to believe
In things like heaven and in Jesus and the saints and all the prophets

And yeah yeah god is great yeah yeah god is good
yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

What if God was one of us
Just a slob like one of us
Just a stranger on the bus
Trying to make his way home
Trying to make his way home

Back up to heaven all alone
Nobody calling on the phone
'Cept for the pope maybe in Rome

And yeah yeah God is great yeah yeah God is good
yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

What if god was one of us (what if God was one of us)
Oh, just a slob like one of us ( just a slob like one of us )
Oh, just a stranger on the bus
Trying to make his way home (Trying to make his way home)
Just trying to make his way home (trying to find his way home)
Like a holy rolling stone (a holy rolling stone)
Back up to heaven all alone (heaven all alone)
Just trying to make his way home
Yeah yeah god is great (Nobody calling on the phone)
Yeah yeah god is good, yeah yeah... ('Cept for the pope maybe in Rome)
Nobody calling on the phone
Except for the pope maybe in Rome

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FeLynVZHiFg

punishments....

2010-11-08T21:14:00.003+08:00

here i am....supposedly studying auditing. but seriously, a person can get bored right?

anyway as i was studying, i overhead the boys arguing over who was right. who was the one who started the fight in the first place. explaining it to their parents. but their parents said both should be punished.

one punishment that i know of (especially used by asians) is caning. well, i'm definitely not fond of it. who is? i still remember i got caned by my mother when i was younger, maybe around seven, for being rude (for saying the word 'stupid' to my maid actually....that time it was a bad bad word....now....HAH!). i couldnt sleep with my butt on the bed and i couldnt sit on the chair either without crying. cause it really hurt. i got my mother on her busy and tired day. i guess i deserved it (not that i thought so then =p). and, my maid, even after being rude to her, she gave me a pillow to sit on so that it wouldnt hurt so much.

i miss her....my maid i mean. she was like part of our family. she still is.

anyway, punishments serve a purpose. but in my opinion it has to be exercised the right way so that kids understand why they are punished. and, it is better to punish kids when they are younger as it stays in their minds longer. try punishing a teenager and all hell will break lose. pull the weeds at their roots....

ok....back to auditing.....=.=

thought of the day....

2010-10-31T19:51:00.003+08:00

here i am pouring over text books....well, "wishing" i was pouring over text books to be exact, and a question comes to mind....

how do you know you are being used by someone or if you yourself am using someone?

well, you don't do you? and that is what makes it alright. that is the same reason when truth is not told. are lies just a cover up for something so bad that it should never get out of the hat? but then why do we get mad when we find out that someone told us a lie?

for one, you can never trust that person anymore....

but, what if, you use that someone for your own good and the other person does the same? then, isn't that mutual benefit? would it still hurt? i would doubt so. cause how can you be angry at someone who is doing the same thing is you.

more so, there wouldn't be any guilt.

vanishing act...

2010-10-29T16:06:00.002+08:00

i read this in large print. LOL. jodi picoult is a very saught out author in the library. can't seem to find those that are listed in the library catalogue. i'm starting to love her books. i wonder why i never took notice of it when i was back home. i use to read a lot and when i bought books, JP was one of those authors on the front shelf. hmm...i guess i was too engrossed with other books eh?

well, this story is a twisted one but good all the same. as described by the title, it's about a girl lost for 28 years but found when her father is convicted of an unimaginable crime. memories that has never surfaced in all her life suddenly becomes as vivid as if it happened yesterday. it's a story that depicts the love of a father to his daughter. it tells of how people are capable of doing things that no one could even imagine.

this story is down-to-earth like all the other novels that JP has written. it makes me wonder whether it could actually happen in reality. how people can lead lives that are made up of lies and yet want to live it for the rest of their lives knowing they are not true....why? because they are the best memories that they want to keep.

next up: picture perfect by jodi picoult

PS: need to study =S

change of heart

2010-10-23T13:41:00.002+08:00

i can't believe how much i have been reading lately. but, you know what, reading these novels is the only thing that's keeping me intact. if not, i'm pretty sure i will fall apart at the seams =S. studying at uni is no fun unless you have something to keep you on track and stress-free. for me is the weekends with friends and mr.gills ^^, and of course, my books...not text books but books that open up a whole new world by authors whom i wish i could meet someday....

ok, so this book "change of heart" is by jodi picoult. i'm starting to become her fan. her books are always revolved around family ties and heartbreaking facts that some of us can only hope stay on the page. this book has its on twist and sharp corners. i like how she structures her novels. with the story being told by the main characters in their own view. and how in the end, it all links to one person.

a broken family is portrayed in this novel. broken by a man that was openly brought into their home. but along the way betrayed the trust of the ppl who trusted him....or so you think at the start. as the story progresses, the past weaves its way into the present. and this man wants to atone for his sins by helping a sick girl have her life back by giving his own.

won't say much of what happens but the ending was a shocker. i guessed the climax and got the important bits right. was so eager that i almost, ALMOST flipped a few pages to know what's gonna happen....never do that. it will just ruin the book. but it was really really a book that i found especially hard to put down. and at some bits, it made me tear up. and to think that maybe...somewhere in this world, this same thing may be happening. it shows how the author is down to earth and knows where she's going with her novels.

in the end.....there was definitely a change of heart

monday....

2010-10-18T20:05:00.002+08:00

i'm not sure if i have monday blues but this monday is bluer than ever....

the sole reason is that WL has left the country T.T.... won't be seeing him till 2011. this makes me sad and makes me miss home even more. i have a few more weeks left before my finals. i hope without him i can go through it. will have to get used to this.

i never knew time passed by so fast. i can't seem to remember what i have achieved so far. i just go through each day wishing it'll pass faster so i can get home. but when the day ends i somehow feel its wasted. but i'm the only one to blame. oh well!

but work was good today. even though i screwed up a bit my boss did too...lol. but i hope he's not mad at me (reminds me of my first few weeks of work)=S....

anyways....i shud be getting back to studying and completing my work. can't wait to chat to teddy bear!!

carpe diem!!!

my sister's keeper

2010-10-18T19:57:00.002+08:00

this is a must watch movie as well as a must read book. it's by jodi picoult and as i am starting to realise, her books are pretty amazing. ok so what does my sister's keeper have to offer...

for one, it is yet another book that would be hard to put down. it relates the story from different points of views by the main characters of this story. there's a surprise at every turn and leaves you amazed and shocked yet entertained at the same time.

the fitzgerald's started off as any other family. with two kids, a boy (jesse) and a girl (kate). but all hell breaks loose when kate is diagnosed with a very life-threatening disease and it seems incurable until sara (mrs) decides to have another baby (anna) one which would perfectly match as kate's donor in all aspects.

for years, anna has been the one to keep kate alive and out of a sudden, she wants to put a stop to it and files for her right to her own body and refuses to donate yet another part of her to kate. the reason for this is later found out in court and let me tell you, it's a shocking find indeed. definitely a book that will keep you on your toes.

the ending is another surprise.....the book describes it all while the movie will only give u an overview. be sure to read and watch!

a wonderful weekend

2010-10-17T16:17:00.004+08:00

this time my post would not be about books (as i haven't finished the one i'm currently reading yet =p...and i want to remember this weekend too)...

my weekend started on the friday and i went shopping with WL (as always) cause i needed to get my sis her pencil case and some extra early x'mas presents^^. since it didn't open that early, we headed to king's park first. we walked around for abit and talked and basically laze around till we felt hungry enough for lunch.

we decided not to have lunch as we were not hungry but instead walked to harbour town from kings park (the first time) which was faster than taking the bus^^ (must do it again sometime). we did snack on Gozleme's tho and turkish delight (yum yum....) and started shopping. i got all my stuff and we headed back to the city.

i met WL's close friend from ECU; Billy and his gf. they were such a cute couple. we had bubble tea at Utopia (of course) and the guys decided to play a game of pool (no photos unfortunately and WL lost to Billy anyway....LOL). but it was great fun and most importantly WL had fun.

after that, it was a trip to Fremantle (our fav spot few months ago when we first started dating^^). we walked around abit and then headed to Cicellero's for an early dinner (WL was famished). we had fish and chips and seafood chowder (yummy!!).

it was a pretty cold day, so we had a short walk back to the bus station and....as always i gave in to him and stayed over at his place. took some stuff from home and went. i do unexpected things when i'm with him..i wonder if its good or bad. but i had an eventful day and it would be great to spend the night with him.

cause...it would be 3 months before i see him again (sighs....). he's leaving for singapore and i won't be able to see him till next year (sobs...)...time passes by faster with him around T.T

but....

all's not lost. coz the rest of the weekend, i spent it with my close group of friends from uni. and it was great fun. it was sharon's bday (tehani's sister) and we decided to have a sleepover and a movie marathon while we;re at it...lol.

even though tehani had to work we managed to watch the proposal with her and had lots and lots of laughs just before we slept. i had a great time especially with the food that tehani so graciously cooked for us..lol. beef rolls and birthday cake (simply delicious!!)lol.

we watched backup plan and old dogs before tehani came home while eating domino's pizza!! (lol....as you can see...full of yummy food. im so fat right now....need to cut down during finals...lol)... it was great and in the morning we did crosswords while tehani and sharon were at church. we cheated btw...lol. by checking the internet (best thing ever invented, if u ask me.

then we headed for dim sum as ale was craving siew mai (lol....she simply loves it). it was a hot day and by the time we got to Dim Sim Cafe which was packed we were pretty tired and just wanted to eat. but we got a table in 5 mins and had a great lunch. we each had stuff to do after that and were pretty tired anyway...so we headed home.

all in all, a wonderful weekend (the best so far)....thank you, God!!

lies....

2010-10-13T21:36:00.002+08:00

thought of the day....

im here...bored out of my mind. well dead tired actually. not even bored. i just want to get into bed. so after this...nighty nite for me^^

anyway....while playing bejeweled blitz on facebook i have time to think bout some things. mostly about lies. lies that i tell. lies that ppl tell that i know about (usually i chance upon it or they tell me). but mostly lies are told so that nobody will find out about the truth right? isn't that the whole purpose of lying? to cover up for the truth?

its one thing telling a lie...but living a lie?

once u live a lie, u can never get out of it because it becomes your life. but how do u actually know that the life you are living is actually all a scam. did u do it or can you blame others?

it is something no one can tell.

do you know what to do?

just go on living. besides, the truth has become the lie. and that's when you know....never tell a lie.

the tenth circle

2010-10-09T20:27:00.002+08:00

jodi picoult has a vast imagination. that's what i gathered from the book i read written by her..."the tenth circle".

mostly the story revolves around a family of three; a father, mother and daughter and how their relationship is entwined with the past that the father is trying to keep, the lie that the mother is trying to live and the tragedy of the daughter which ends up bringing the family together.

the book also gives a view on what hell is like. mostly about how a poet called Dante sees it. it has a comic section after every chapter. and at the end, the author allows the reader to look further into the comic parts for a verse....

nothing is easier than self deceit, for what each man wishes that he also believes to be true -demostenes-

i like how the book is written. from three points of view. by the three main characters in the story. then slowly the story moves and slowly builds up into an interesting plot. the book kept me on my toes at all times.

a book by meg cabot at the moment isn't capturing my interest as much anymore after reading "the tenth circle"...lol

little black dress....

2010-09-29T10:32:00.003+08:00

another book down!

this time it's a book from the "little black dress" series. i haven't had interest in this series even though it has been quite popular under romance fiction. so i decided to try one.

it's called "the movie girl" by kate lace. it's not bad really. the story revolves around Gemma who has always been dreaming of becoming part of the movie/film industry to put her talent of costume designing to good use. her big break comes in the form of Arabella...the head of costumes in a big production. however, as Gemma starts to get "too personal" with an actor, Jono... all hell breaks loose and Gemma's dream is flushed down the drain.

all in all, the ending is still a happy one. quite predictable really but still a fun read.

next to be tried out...jodi picoult=]

another review...

2010-09-15T17:00:00.002+08:00

i got sidetracked while at the library and went looking for this particular James Patterson book that i wanted to read. it is one of the three romance novels he wrote. i've read two of them "sundays at tiffany's" and " sam's letters to jennifer".

this third one is called "suzanne's diary to nicholas"....

the story begins with Katie who recently breaks up with Matt. she has no idea what makes him do it but assumes it has something to do with his past. all is explained when Matt sends her a tattered looking diary....written by none other than his wife for his beloved son.

at first, Katie is perplexed as to why Matt would want to hurt her even more by reading about Suzanne's life and her love for him and their son. but as the story unfolds and as she goes on reading, she finds herself immersed in their world. looking through Suzanne's eyes.

the story unwinds a tale full of love, sadness, happiness and heartaches....it is a novel worth reading. the ending was a sad but good one? at least i thought so....

next up: james patterson, "I, Alex Cross"

life....

2010-09-13T10:15:00.002+08:00

i was supposed to study for an interview that i'm going to be doing in an hour or so. but i realised i couldn't study without my lappie on. this is bad....

but as i was studying i thought about life....

do you ever think about it??? if you say no, it's a lie cause they main reason you are still here, it's because of life. when someone gives you an apple, do you ask for a pear? or any other fruit for that matter... cause you don't like the apple or you prefer something which is better.

in life, it is the same. it is never enough for the most of us. God gives us a life to live but we ask for more. if God gives us an apple, we should say thank you! not complain about it being unfair. take a bite of that apple, appreciate it and you will see that the apple isn't that bad at all. it might even be the sweetest apple you ever tasted. all you have to do, is take a bite. and you never want any more than that.

manga

2010-09-12T14:33:00.002+08:00

i've been pouring over a lot of manga lately. vampire knight and fruits basket to be exact. not gonna say much on these as i wanna read all and i mean ALL of them. hopefully i can get my hands on them though without using money....LOL

but vampire knight is classic love triangle though the end (as i've watched the anime) is quite shocking....interesting anime actually. A MUST WATCH!

fruits basket on one hand is exactly like vampire knight with the love triangle but with a different kind of heroine. unlike feisty yuki in vampire knight, tohru honda is a soft-spoken, extremely gentle kind of person.

both has its extra points and is worth the read.

i've also read queen of babble by meg cabot. another love story. LOL. it's typical meg cabot kind of love story. not bad. won't say that it's great but it was still worth my time =]

time passes by faster when you're doing something you love... would it be the same if you spend time with somebody you love as well?

sundays....

2010-09-12T14:26:00.003+08:00

sundays = lazy days... LOL. agreed?

*sighs*

on sundays i would usually love to just hang around with my family doing something i love (like reading or watching some series/ movie that everyone watches. it's a family day right?? then in the evenings, princey can have his walk^^.

but then here, now.... sundays are the days that i need to brush up on studies, doing homework, finishing assignments, etc. but that doesn't stop me from watching a movie to relax or take a nap but in the end i would still have to face studying!!!! its a torture when it's something you don't like but have to do.

as i'm listening to bruno mars singing 'just the way you are', i'm spending a few minutes thinking about the movie i just watched 'whisper of the heart'. its a film by yoshifumi kondo.

the story revolves around a girl called shizuko and her path to finding the true yearning of her heart. she meets a guy seiji (who has had a crush on her for a while but she's too busy reading to notice...lol) who teaches her to dream and she soon finds out her passion to be a writer. the story gets sad when seiji has to leave for italy to train to be a violin-maker.

here's where the person watching the movie would think that the movie would end with them being separated but of course, this is a fairy tale eh? so anything can happen right?

watch the movie....it's worth the 1hour 40minutes^^ it's a tale of adventures of an average junior high student and it will teach us that we can dream big.... but dreaming big comes with a price (hard work!)

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

2010-09-05T15:22:00.002+08:00

Another book done!

I've read this one but felt like reading it again. besides the movie will be out soon. gonna so compare it to the book. the 6th movie was quite a disappointment. hope the 7th is better and hopefully the best to come!

the book is a must read as it is the end of the Harry Potter series. JK Rowling must have put her heart into this last one. it was quite a page turner. suspense at every corner. but it dies down a little at the end.

living in a world of magic is definitely fascinating (though, unfortunately, it's just fiction). but, one can dream right...

though, sometimes dreams are best kept as dreams....

cheers!!

PS: Next one....vampire knight manga vol 2 and meg cabot's queen of babble^^

Spanish Hawk by James Pattinson

2010-08-28T10:13:00.002+08:00

yet another book is done^^

well, this story entails the horrifying discovery of a young man, John Fletcher at the depths of the ocean. while searching for a sunken ship that was blown up during the World War II, he spots a boat that looked out of place in the midst of the sunken ship. the boat was sunk not weeks ago and worse of all, in the cabin of it were 5 dead man shot in the head. Fletcher's discovery lead him to the police whom he realized, a little too late, were never going to be of help. this story revolves around political instability in a remote place somewhere in America (didn't take notice of the details....sorry T.T).

James Pattison is no James Patterson but the book was quite an interesting read though the end did not really have an end. it didn't leave me hanging either but i stand to say it was a good book.

going to read yet another soon. gonna head to the library then work....its a saturday, man! LOL

PEACE OUT! (lame eh??? =p)

it's over...again

2010-08-27T23:08:00.001+08:00

T.T

Sundays at Tiffany's

2010-08-25T17:37:00.002+08:00

i have a new resolution (which i hope to keep) to write reviews on books that i have read. starting with the book i just read a couple of days back...

i have been so into James Patterson books lately. i guess its due to the short and sweet chapters of his. the way he presents his books are to my liking. his romance novels are intriguing while his thrillers captivating.

okay... so this book 'Sundays at Tiffany's' is also by him.

this story depicts the love between a girl and her imaginary friend who when she grows up becomes human and there you go... the love story begins. Jane is an eight year old girl with a handsome and charming imaginary friend, Michael. she is a girl longing for love from her mother who's a producer of plays and love from her father, her mother's 2nd husband out of 3 who later divorced her mother and got together with another lady.

Jane's life had been easier with Michael at bay to protect her and love her as she loved him. however, Michael had to leave her when she turned 9. it was too soon for him to leave and she somehow never forgot him even though she was supposed to. even Michael's memories of Jane never faded even after meeting Jane in her full 32 years of age.

the part of the book that i liked the most was the scene where they met at their favourite place after 23 years. Astor's Court at St. Regis in New York. I'm not sure if its real but i would to see that place as how i pictured it. when Jane saw Michael it was as if nothing else mattered but him being there and the same was for Michael. it was as if at that moment in the world there was just the two of them.

the book was a page turner and a 2nd read is definitely on the way^^

gay....where are you???

2010-08-22T16:17:00.002+08:00

i guess the reason why i write all these posts is to let everything out with hopes that my gay pal who will be gay as ever, that she'll read it and tell me what to do or at least let me know she knows. i miss her loads especially at a time like this. when i feel like i don't know the answer to something that i created. a problem to be exact.

the thing bout me is that i don't trust people who care about me the most. or i trust them but i don't listen to them. i really don't know why is that except for the reason that i think too much. i like to make a mess out of something that has always been perfect or if not perfect at least it was right to be doing it.

is it better to not think at all?? to just act on impulse?? will i function better that way??

i hear about things along the way. about people that i care and love. not very good things were said. but somehow i don't say anything about it and it gets to my head thinking... 'is it true??' shouldn't i be saying... 'no, i trust him/her...they're not like that at all'. i wouldn't think if there wasn't a reason for me to.

i guess i just have to ignore those mental thoughts eh?? fighting!!

love came down at christmas...

2010-08-15T20:15:00.002+08:00

love came down at christmas... a song by jars of clay...

as i lie on my bed listening to this song... im reminded of someone. he said this was our song. for the sole reason of the song resembling how our relationship began.

it wasn't really on christmas day but i think that was the day we knew we truly liked one another. i was young and naive to what boy girl relationships were. he was my first and i wonder now... lol. guess we weren't meant to be. i loved him then and will always love him.

christmas will always be the season i wait for all year. its the season to be jolly and make the best memories of your life. is it yours?

is it for real??

2010-08-14T19:49:00.002+08:00

i just had a very good day. spent it with someone who is starting to mean a lot to me. but am i going to make the same mistakes as before? i feel i'm starting to be very clingy... this is so frustrating. i'm stuck with studies and relationships.

with my studies.... i just don't have enthusiasm for it. that's why i'm not enjoying it. this sucks! seeing as it will be the path for my upcoming career.

with my relationships.... i have a group of friends with whom i enjoy company with. but i keep blowing them off when it comes to going out. i'm not even sure why. in my love life.... let's just say there are ups and there are downs.

everything is swirling around me and i can't seem to stop it. argh!! and my to do list is getting longer than ever. what am i going to do?? all i want to do at the moment is curl up in bed all comfy and nice with someone that loves me a lot. better still i want to be home!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

43 things a girl wished her guy knew...

2010-08-11T17:15:00.002+08:00

#1 When you break her heart, the pain never really goes away.

#2 When she misses you, she’s hurting inside.

#3 When she says it’s over, she still wants you to be hers.

#4 When she walks away from you mad, follow her.

#5 When she stares at your mouth, kiss her.

#6 When she pushes or hits you, grab her tight & don’t let her go.

#7 When she starts cursing at you, kiss her and tell her you love her.

#8 When she ignores you, give her your attention.

#9 When she pulls away, pull her back.

#10 When you see her at her worst, tell her she’s beautiful.

#11 When you see her crying, just hold her and don’t say a word.

#12 When you see her walking, sneak up and hug her waist from behind.

#13 When she’s scared, protect her.

#14 When she lays her head on your shoulder, tilt her head up and kiss her.

#15 When she steals your favourite jacket, let her keep it and sleep with it for a night.

#16 When she teases you, tease her back and make her laugh.

#17 When she doesn’t answer for a long time, reassure her that everything is okay.

#18 When she looks at you with doubt, back yourself up with the truth.

#19 When she says that she likes you, she really does more than you could understand.

#20 When she grabs your hands, hold hers and play with her fingers.

#21 When she bumps into you, bump into her back and make her laugh.

#22 When she tells you a secret, keep it safe and untold.

#23 When she looks at you in your eyes, don’t look away until she does.

#24 Stay on the phone with her even if she’s not saying anything.

#25 Don’t let her have the last word.

#26 Don’t call her hot, but gorgeous or beautiful is so much better.

#27 Say you love her more than she could ever love you.

#28 Argue that she is the best girl ever.

#29 When she’s mad, hug her tight and don’t let go.

#30 When she says she’s OK, don’t believe it, talk to
her about it, because 10 yrs later she’ll still remember it.

#31 Call her at 12:00am on special occasions to tell her you love her.

#32 Call her before you sleep and after you wake up.

#33 Treat her like she’s all that matters to you.

#34 Don’t ignore her when she’s out with you and your friends.

#35 Stay up all night with her when she’s sick.

#36 Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think its stupid.

#37 Let her into your world.

#38 Let her wear your clothes.

#39 When she’s bored and sad, hang out with her

#40 Let her know she’s important.

#41 Kiss her in the pouring rain.

#42 When she runs up at you crying, the first thing you say is; “Who’s ass am I kicking today baby?”

#43 After she reads this, she hopes one day you’d read it too.

memories...

2010-08-08T15:01:00.002+08:00

as im listening to the song 'all i want for christmas is you', im reminded of a distant but happy memory...

it was a weekend that much im sure but what weekend or occasion im not too sure. maybe it was a birthday or...i just wanted to see him and he wanted to see me. so i decided to make a surprise trip back home. i was still in the middle of my semester at uni in kl and it wasn't a holiday but i had a long weekend till monday.

i left by bus early in the morning. sent him texts wishing him morning and a good day saying how i wish i was there with him. he so wanted me to come home as he was on holiday and was back home. he said if i were to be home he would take time off a part time job he was currently employed in. but i told him the day before that that i had a lot of assignments and studying to catch up with and wouldn't be able to spend the weekend with him.

he took it graciously but...i chose to let fate tell me what to do. i checked the ticket for the bus and luckily there were a few seats left. so i took it as a sign to go home and meet him. when i left i didn't tell him to take a day off and told him that i was just gonna spend my weekend studying. he was disappointed i knew but the smile that he gave me when i showed up at his work place was priceless.

i sent him a text asking him to guess where i was. but due to poor reception he didnt get my msg and he was busy too. even when i walked in the shop he was busy on the phone. lol. but as i got in his line of vision, his look showed me that he wanted to end the call immediately. it was so cute and that look told me that i made the right choice to be home that weekend.

he told me to wait while he dealt with whoever was on the line. when it ended, we talked a while. mostly he was very happy and said he would meet me during his break. though he did say it was a waste he had to work and that i should've told him so he could spend the day with me.

it was a sweet moment... one of our happiest. funny how these memories come back to you at the least expected times.

treasure those around you...those whom you love....and those who love you. you never know when you might lose them.

i rather hurt than feel nothin' at all

2010-08-04T19:21:00.001+08:00

im confused. im aching. it hurts so bad i dunno how to stop it from hurting. i need a shoulder to cry on. i need help.

insecure...

2010-08-01T20:42:00.002+08:00

im starting to blog more often nowadays...i wonder why is that.

my head is muddled up with stuff that im suppose to be worried about. i think about things that are unnecessary and insignificant. what's up with me? why am i losing focus of my life? and im making it more complicated by not telling those dear to me. i tell them about the life that they want to hear. im not living the lie i made up although i wish it were the case.

im really becoming an emo freak =.=... its enough being emo but a freak...

i miss home dearly. i keep thinking about the time i will be back in my own room. back at home 'home'. i thought i could keep myself on track but... im straying on the first few days already and the load isn't much at all. what am i going to do? who am i suppose to get help from? am i a lost cause? who am i doing all these things for?

so many questions... no one to answer them...

hectic day...

2010-07-31T21:30:00.002+08:00

5am - woke up to the sound of my alarm.

5.15am - as i fell asleep after the first alarm, got up again.

5.30am - another alarm. LOL. now u see y i have to have it ring three times...XD. finally got up and stretched.

6am - was ready and having breakfast while reading up for IELTS

6.45am - left house to get to bus stop on time. was super foggy today. my first ever. couldnt see pass 50m ahead. but got better after the sun rised

6.55am - bus arrived...lol.... was only one on bus.

7.50am - arrived at uni along with many others taking the test.... enormous amount of students.

9am - exam started....listening was as hard as i thought. reading was ok. but the one thing i prepared and tried to remember most was writing. guess what? i sucked at it. once i let it out not gonna dwell on it till my results come in on 13th Aug. the first part was not as planned. haih. but hopefully i did ok.

12.15pm - test ended and got ready to go to city train station. gonna meet up with ale, tehani, camila and sharon for bowling. nervous....first time but wanted to have fun after a hectic morning.

1.15pm - met up with the rest and headed for cannington. bowling was awesome! had great fun with the gang and met camila's bf. shy guy....but the two look good together^^

4.30pm - got to train station. missed train by a few seconds. but got to talk to the gals.

5.45pm - arrived home but left immediately as we're going for dinner in the city =.=....vivi was MIA as she had a 'mission' elsewhere. lol. so had boys for company this vy evening.

7.15pm - was supposed to go somewhere else but aunty amy decided to take me home. felt bad cause kinda ruined their night out but was pretty tired. and the place we were going was not somewhere that was really fun. especially without vivi (though sometimes she may get on my nerves but she's more nice than not). in the end everyone came home.

8pm - had my shower and have been watching anime...maid sama is one good anime. need to thank kylie.

9.30pm - blogging.....thinking bout mr gills. still not on good terms atm.

anyway thats the chronological order of my day. have to get back to tutes! T.T

need you now...

2010-07-28T19:25:00.003+08:00

i'm bored and lazy... am supposed to be doing my tutorials for next week (just started my sem you see...hehe...so am still in the holiday mood XD)...

am listening to songs and one song that has caught my attention is "Need You Now" by Lady Antebellum...here is the lyrics:

picture perfect memories

scattered all around the floor...

reaching for the phone

cause I can't fight it anymore...

and i wonder if i ever cross your mind

for me it happens all the time.

chorus:

it's a quarter after one

i'm all alone

and i need you now...

i said i wouldnt call

but i lost control

and i need you now

and i don't know how i can do without

i just need you now...

another shot of whisky

can't stop looking at the door...

wishin you'd come sweeping

in the way you did before...

and i wonder if i ever cross your mind...

for me it happens all the time.

chorus...

whoa...

guess i rather hurt

than feel nothing at all....

chorus...

ohh baby...

i need you now

cool???

are u happy?

2010-07-26T20:33:00.002+08:00

i was asked this question today... by who? a secret!

but the answer isnt. which is why i'm writing this post.

a clear cut answer... i'm not happy.

but why? i do not know. i wonder the very same thing when i found out that i'm not happy. or am i just mixing up being unhappy with being tired? i don't really know what the true answer is but at the moment i'm both unhappy and dead tired. i'm feeling very lethargic. am i sick? i don't really notice these things anymore. if i'm sick so what? i have to take care of myself anyway. who am i to complain to? who's gonna listen?

not many listen to me. even those that are around me almost 24/7. i tell one thing many times but yet when they see it for themselves, the ask incredulously why i didn't tell them. WTH??!!! OPEN YOUR EARS! i've told you a dozen or more times and yet you ask me that? okok....

my mood swings are acting out again. on and off even after the time is up for moods to be swinging. it's just tiring having to explain yourself all the time but people still prefer to see it for themselves. so i shut up. and smile when i have to. maybe that's why i'm defensive towards my parents cause they're the only people that i CAN be defensive to but should not.

i'm not the kind of person you people think i am. but nobody bothers to look deeper. that's human nature. ask yourself today....

are u happy?

boredom...

2010-07-23T20:29:00.002+08:00

what does one do when one is bored? i really don't know... but i am here, utterly bored, wanting to eat any junk i can find but forcing myself to be sane (i'm getting fatter... i don't need extra calories in my body T,T) so thus, this post.

one way for me to keep myself sane is by talking. but at the moment, somehow everyone is busy going on with life while i am stuck bored with myself. i was given the chance to go out, don't think i'm just trapped in the house but i knew if i went out it would be worse. i rather be in the comfort of my bed, trying to figure out what to do next.

i have loads to do, actually. however, don't you think a person needs conversation with human beings from time to time. i like immersing myself in books but the moment i start reading i realise i have to study for IELTS... (DANG!) even typing this reminds me of it. and semester two starts next week (THE HORROR >.<). so it is only right that i start studying but, man am i lazy! LOL =.=

anyway.... i think i better get prepared... maybe food will help??? XD

thought of the day....

2010-07-14T20:12:00.002+08:00

why do people talk to themselves??

or, okay, why do 'I' talk to myself??

people do that all the time right... but why? i finally found the answer today while sitting alone in my room watching 'little women' (good movie btw...). we talk to ourselves to ensure that we're not alone in this world.

some people say that when you start hearing voices, you're going bonkers =.=... that's not true. when you STOP hearing those voices THEN you're going bonkers. Why is that?

it's simple actually. one thing that can make anyone go crazy is the feeling of being alone. if even your own voice disappears then you are absolutely alone. the only answer i can find to explain the reason why we talk to ourselves; to make sure we don't feel lonely.

another reason is to gain confidence. the voice in our head is said to be our conscience. is that true?? I don't know but it has helped me through rough times.

one thing is for sure... i thank God for giving me the voice in my head. no i'm not crazy. i'm a normal girl. everyone has that voice. it's whether you are brave enough to admit it or not.

Bitchology

2010-07-01T21:38:00.002+08:00

BITCHOLOGY

When I stand up for
myself and my beliefs,
they call me a
bitch.

When I stand up for
those I love,
they call me a
bitch.

When I speak my mind, think my own thoughts
or do things my own way, they call me a
bitch.

Being a bitch
means I won't
compromise what's
in my heart.
It means I live my life
MY way.
It means I won't allow anyone to step on me.

When I refuse to
tolerate injustice and
speak against it, I am
defined as a
bitch.

The same thing happens when I take time for
myself instead of being everyone's maid, or when I act a little selfish.
It means I have the courage and strength to allow myself to be who I truly am and won't become anyone else's idea of what they think I "should" be.
I am outspoken,
opinionated and determined. I want what I want and there is nothing wrong with that!

So try to stomp on me,
try to douse my inner flame, try to squash every ounce of beauty I hold within me.
You won't succeed.

And if that makes me a bitch ,
so be it.
I embrace the title and
am proud to bear it.
B - Babe
I - In
T - Total
C - Control of
H - Herself

B = Beautiful
I = Intelligent
T = Talented
C = Charming
H = Hell of a Woman

B = Beautiful
I = Individual
T = That
C = Can
H = Handle anything

Happy Father's Day, Dad

2010-06-20T22:59:00.002+08:00

My Guy

Dad,

You may not be the first person who has ever held me

Or the first person who has seen me smile

But, dad,

You are the first guy in my life.

You gave me life

You gave me all that I will ever need

But, most of all

You gave me love,

More than I could ever dream of.

Dad,

Guys may walk in and out of my life

But, you will always the first guy in mine,

That will never leave.

You will be the first guy who has ever loved me

For whom I really am

And, you will always be the first guy that I will ever love.

Dad,

For all those times I made you cry

For all those times I disappointed you

I will repay you with my all,

But, even so, your love beats everything.

I will always love you, dad.

Because you are…

My guy.

Happy Fathers’ Day, dad!!

I will always be your little girl

another celebration without a loved one T.T....i miss my dad and everyone back home...i love you dad!!

hearts....

2010-06-03T14:12:00.002+08:00

i broke his heart... and i did it again when he came to me with open arms, with hopefulness, with love. but i shunned him away. and broke his heart, yet again.

but, does anybody wonder... or does he wonder... if i broke my heart in the process. that the decision was the hardest i could ever make. that the decision hurt me so much that my heart could no longer contain.

but, then... who's to say i don't deserve it? i do, don't i? for letting him think i still loved him the way i used to. for letting him wait when there's nothing left to wait for. i changed. A LOT. but was it for better or for worse?

i wish i could get someone to answer me. but no one can answer your heart's desire except... yourself.

confused...

2010-05-20T13:49:00.003+08:00

would it be wrong to love two people at once?

or... is it not love that you feel?

is it just possession of two things that are important to you that you can't let go either?

this shouldn't bother me but it does... now and again.

have i changed or is it something everyone goes through...

i'm not alone, am i??

Happy Mother's Day

2010-05-09T19:49:00.002+08:00

A Mother's Day Poem

I know how often I took you for granted

when I was growing up.

I always assumed you'd be there

when I needed you...

and you always were.

But I never really thought bout what that meant

till I got older and began to realize

how often your time and energy were devoted to me.

So, now, for all the times I didn't say it before,

Thank you, mum...

I love you so very much!!

For Mothers...

Somebody said.......

--> somebody said you learn how to be a mother by instinct - somebody never took a three-year-old shopping.

--> somebody said being a mother is boring - someone never rode in a car driven by a teenager with a learner's permit.

--> somebody said you can't love the second child as much as you love the first... somebody doesn't have two children.

--> somebody said a mother's job is done when her last child leaves home... somebody never had grandchildren.

Entries in a mother's dictionary:

--> bottle-feeding: an opportunity for daddy to get up at 2AM

--> full name: what you call your child when you're mad at him

--> independent: how we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say

--> show off: a child who is more talented than yours

--> puddle: a small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it

No...

2010-04-23T09:59:00.002+08:00

i have always said yes... but, when i say no, why should it hurt. what actually is it that i feel?

how can one person be so confused. will everything always be complicated?? why should it be complicated?? or is it me?? argh!!!

i want to scream my heart out cause then my heart wouldn't hurt anymore....

i don't even know what exactly i need....

help....

???

2010-03-31T21:40:00.003+08:00

i just feel like shutting down and rebooting later on....

i no longer have the strength to go on...

who am i going to let this out to?

they will just say being emo is part of life....?

is it?

i hate feeling this way...

who in their right mind would want to feel this way?

i guess most people don't think right...

i'm one of them.

I believe...

2010-03-29T10:31:00.002+08:00

A Birth Certificate shows that we were born

A Death Certificate shows that we died

Pictures show that we lived!

I Believe...

That just because two people argue,

It doesn't mean they don't love each other.

And just because they don't argue,

It doesn't mean they do love each other.

I Believe...

That we don't have to change friends if

We understand that friends change.

I Believe....

That no matter how good a friend is,

they're going to hurt you every once in a while

and you must forgive them for that.

I Believe...

That true friendship continues to grow,

even over the longest distance.

Same goes for true love.

I Believe...

That you can do something in an instant

That will give you heartache for life.

I Believe....

That it's taking me a long time

To become the person I want to be.

I Believe...

That you should always leave loved ones with

Loving words. It may be the last time you see them.

I Believe....

That you can keep going long after you think you can't.

I Believe....

That we are responsible for what

We do, no matter how we feel.

I Believe...

That either you control your attitude or it controls you.

I Believe...

That heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs

to be done, regardless of the consequences.

I Believe.....

That my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time.

I Believe....

That sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down

will be the ones to help you get back up.

I Believe...

That sometimes when I'm angry

I have the right to be angry,

But that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.

I Believe....

That maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had

And what you've learned from them and less to do with how many

birthdays you've celebrated.

I Believe....

That it isn't always enough,

to be forgiven by others.

Sometimes, you have to learn to forgive yourself.

I Believe...

That no matter how bad your heart is broken

the world doesn't stop for your grief.

I Believe....

That our background and circumstances

may have influenced who we are,

But, we are responsible for who we become.

I Believe...

That you shouldn't be so eager to find

Out a secret. It could change your life Forever.

I Believe....

Two people can look at the exact same

Thing and see something totally different.

I Believe...

That your life can be changed in a matter of

Hours by people who don't even know you.

I Believe.....

That even when you think you have no more to give,

When a friend cries out to you -

you will find the strength to help.

I Believe...

That credentials on the wall

do not make you a decent human being.

I Believe...

That the people you care about most in life

are taken from you too soon.

I Believe...

That you should send this to

all of the people that you believe in, I just did.

The happiest of people don't necessarily

have the best of everything;

They just make the most of everything they have.

food for thought....

2010-03-05T09:08:00.002+08:00

at times one may feel trapped. trapped with life. trapped with studies. trapped with... whatever it is that makes you feel trapped.

but the thing is... i don't feel trapped. but, i don't really feel much except that i'm thankful for what i am for what i have and for everything that is around me. cause everything that IS around me right now is blessings from... up there (you know...) lol. God does things that some people may not like but just stop and think. and you will realise that you should be thankful. thankful that HE even thought of you. i do thank HIM everyday but am i doing it right?

there can never be right or wrong unless you perceive it to be a certain way. if not, it's just another thing that goes by your day.

life does things to people. what life does to Me... well, for one, it makes me think...ALOT. lol. is it good or bad, i don't know. but what i do know is that it has got me to this day. writing this blog.

memories

2010-02-18T12:40:00.004+08:00

hey...
i'm typing this as i'm listening to songs (now...kenangan terindah by samsons). we (the prefects) sang this song for teachers' day. lol. i really have a lot of memories and sometimes i'm brought back to times that i want to keep in my mind forever. these memories will stay with me forever no matter how i change or how my life changes.

i have finally realised my dream of studying overseas. i'm in perth!! hurray!!lol. i have spent almost two weeks here and things have been awesome (one of the many words commonly used over here^^). i have spent a different CNY with a different atmosphere but it was fun all the way. so no regrets. its good to gain new memories as time goes by cause u'd get bored of old ones right?? wrong!!

every memory has its own value and i would never trade one for another. i would prefer having both. cause when u get older that's all that will be left. memories....

since i arrived in australia i had loads of memories. one of my uni aka UWA (which has a great huge enormous campus compared to monash in msia. lol. it was real fun walking all over campus and getting free bbq lunch (consists of hotdog and drinks) the past week. and not forgetting lots of homecooked food (courtesy of aunty amy and her mum-in-law).

and since i've arrived here i was made a part of uncle henry's family instantly. no hesitation no doubts. juz part of the family. the boys have been great to me and this is a definitely new experience with boys surrounding me most of the time instead of girls. like i said every memory is different. cherish each one of them no matter what!

well....

all in all..looking forward to a great new year!!=]

sorry....

2010-02-01T18:56:00.002+08:00

sorry...

it is never an easy word to say. especially when you mean it. i had a friend say to me that i say that word too much. if i keep going at it... the word won't bring its proper meaning anymore. it's true. what my friend said. when he asked me the reason for doing so... i said that it became a habit. but why would i have that habit right??

i guess there was a small incident that etched to my mind since i was young (not something that i can tell everyone) but it was one that i would remember for life. from that day onwards when my parents argued or when my sister was angry, i kept thinking in my mind that somehow it is all linked to me. "ITS MY FAULT"

but is it??

its something i ask myself almost everyday. i may seem like a great person to people that i am not so close with. or i may seem like a stuck up person to others. but im also a cheerful person when i want to be. though being a not so nice person is one of my expertise too. lol. if you get what i mean...

who hasn't had a bad experience in life?? everyone at some point in life has experienced a bad day and was at fault for whatever it is that happened. but what if you go through each day telling yourself that every mistake is yours to make and that you couldn't be any stupider to do such a thing. a question that comes to mind "where's your common sense??" if there's anyone without one it's me.

so you see...

"sorry" may come as an easy word to me. i may sorry for this and that but when it comes to really really saying sorry. when you know you really are in fault and that the only way to fix things is to say "im sorry". its the most difficult thing that you will ever have to do and you wish from the start all would be different. but i know... once broken considered sold right??

i am really sorry for what i did. and if i do say it, will the other party forgive me?? letting the word out of your mouth might be the simple task. but hearing the other say "i forgive you" is the most important part of the whole task. if not, why do you even bother doing it right??

so friends... never ever do something that you have to be sorry for.

cheers!

blogging....

2010-01-21T13:49:00.002+08:00

it seems that i'm not the only on who is having a hard time updating her blog =p...so its normal...^^

i guess everyone has been busy with their studies especially assignments and final exams.im into my 2nd month of holidays already.so i have been thru those moments that most of my friends are going thru now.3 months of long holidays are not that great especially if you have nothin much to do except surf channels on ASTRO.but it is a good thing though, cause once i start the whole cycle of studying again there's no turning back to watching tv.haih.sadness...

but that's live. God won't serve it on a silver platter. you have to make the decisions.so hopefully i make the right one.

PS: i'll be heading to Australia soon to continue my studies....hopefully its the right decision=]

LOL

2009-06-20T10:01:00.004+08:00

wow...it has been reli long since i logged on to this...hehe
one more resolution down the drain as well as many others=D
oh well...i knew it was coming anyway....

to update myself to all me friends...i have been stressed out crazy due to one week of fast tracked exams...n now im home!!!for well a month or so...
not much has been happening...basically studying and doing assignments...tests....assignments...well u know boring old uni stuff...
good stuff has been happening too...exams over!!!haha...n of course there were some events that i joined during this semester...
one of which is cultural night conducted by lifeline...our team won!!!haha...it was reli one great night esp for those who would be graduating this semester..gonna miss all me seniors=[

so far...things have been great..except the part where i got sick=S...bt im ok de...esp once im back home...hehe....neway the pic below is of us during cultural nite^^

yet another week...

2009-04-04T11:15:00.005+08:00

i'm sorry to those who have been reading my blog for not updating sooner. sorry juanita!!=p

but, i've been busy with assignments each week then after that homework for the next week's tutorial. whoever said uni life was full of freedom and enjoyment is bullshitting! =.=...after passing up an assignment you have to think bout studying then after that...all you ever want to do is SLEEP zzzzzzzzzzzzz...sorry i guess i woke up a bit cranky today =S. but u know wad??i'm feeling better coz i fin my homework!!!!hahahahahahahaha

ok.dat was a bit over.hehe.neway bloggin kinda relieves stress.tot of sleeping back but wad the heck, blog first^^hehe.so here i am!

well, my week was ok.handed in another assignment and was in bed feeling tired out most of the time.next week will be less hectic seeing as it'll be the start of my one week holiday!!woohoo!!i still have to go thru 3 days of classes but its ok.i can bear it for my holidays.and i'll be gng home!!!i cant tell u how excited i am.seriously.get away from uni for a while and relax for a few days b4 coming back to stress out bout the rest of my sem and it's assignments not mentioning the final exam after dat =S T.T...

okok.enough bout that.

my dad came down for work business meetings this week.went out for dinner twice.made me miss home a lil and i realise i talk to him more like this.i got TALKING as in really non-stop.the 1st day dat is.we went to Bubba Gump at pyramid.real nice shrimps there.had a good time.we talked and we bonded got closer i guess.wonder y i dun do dat when home....
but, it was fun and i got to talk to someone close and i felt better.less stressed.though on the 2nd night was kinda tired out due to my assignment.sorry if i kp bringing it up.but its really all i ever think about these days except being homesick..that's priority=p.neway i realise i shud do dat often,talk to him.mum says he misses me alot.and he really is slogging to pay for my education.the least i can do is thank him and bond rite??

i got that to think about...will be blogging off now^^

PS:to my friends...wanna hear bout how you guys are dng.leave comments yea!!take care peeps!!

what a week!

2009-03-26T19:41:00.002+08:00

well...it's been one hell of a week!!! am glad i can say that now i have time to online and blog without thinking bout tons of stuff. wait...i still do that =S unfortunately. Tons of other assignments due after this week. better get it set out so i dun have to worry or slog til late at night to the early mornings. that's somethin new to hear from me. i'm the kinda person who can't slog til early morns. the most is midnight. now it's till 2am plus. it's a record. uni life is really changing me XD

ok...my weekend was fun tho. i went back again after two weeks. i'm homesick ok. don't judge me =p. on the bus i met two new friends. one from monash and the other taylors. well, both were really nice people. they talked to me and shared stuff that i wouldn't mind knowing. it was a great trip back. moreover, i got to spend time with my mum on her birthday, with my family, and of course...my lenny dear (who's officially a driver with a good record and without P on his car anymore...yup my lenny dear's all grown up =D). anyway, let's get back on track. my weekend was spent with great food and great time spent with all my loved ones, including Princy Poo. the worst part is leaving back for KL. haih. but, smiles up coz i'll be back in 2weeks exactly. hehe. it's my hols. so of course its back home for me=]

so...what's up with me lately?? as u can see in the 1st part of this blog...i'm suffering the 'slogging' disease. my assignments are such a pain. everythin's confusing and what makes it worst is i just keep gettin blur. i'm nt sure if im not paying enough attention or is it coz im thinking too much or is it really the lecturers that's telling less (independent learning...duh...). its juz stressful. one whole week juz trying to finish AN assignment. just ONE. not 2..ONE! at least dats done. now i'm using this little time for myself. for chatting, blogging, onlining...then... it's back to assignments again =S...sienness...that's uni life people...enjoy your high schooling life while you can.

anyway...me reli tired..will leave now.will be back soon^^

a tiring yet a wonderful day...

2009-03-15T19:29:00.003+08:00

today...i went to church with aunty ling and her family. i had a good time=]

for one, i woke up feeling better from the stomach ache i was having. had a good rest last night. got to church with the rest and this time i got to sit in the church (the 1st time it was really packed=S...sat outside...hot but bearable). now, inside, with air-con...it was slightly cold but still comfortable. we sat upstairs and we got a view of the alter. the church isn't as big and fancy as st. anne's is but it was clean and nice. no complaints on it. in fact, it was good that i went cause i had a good time. i really didn't want to trouble aunty ling any more than i already have. having another person to care for=S. but, then, i felt better. i got to laugh and talk to ppl i knew and didn't feel lonely. we even ate at a mamak stall called Kayu. really high tech mamak stall unlike the one in penang. the rumours about kl having a high class mamak stall is true. haha. had 'paper tosai'...was really really yummy=D.

after that, we took a detour to aunty's friend's house to get an oven if i'm not mistaken. lol. i guess it looked like one. the house looked really nice and the interior was decorated well. reminded me of houses back in bm. haih. got me missing home=[...din last long tho. cause i'll be heading back again this week. mum's b'day=D...a reason and an excuse at the same timeXD. home sick la...dun blame me.

once, i got back it was all work and no play. had to get my tutorials done and so far, i got one done and one note taking done. now makan and break a while. then....sien'ness.

ok ba. till next blog!!!^^

home...

2009-03-13T09:41:00.002+08:00

haven't been on9 in awhile. got loads of assignments on me already. making me dizzy just thinking bout it. and for the past 2 weeks i didn't have an internet connection at my hostel =.=...really depressing story. let's just put it behind...

anyway, the days are going by. some are slow, some are quite fast, some are good and some are bad. there's always a down side to the up rite?? well, same goes for mine. one thing i really really miss and makes me sad most of the time is thinking about home. as the assignments pile up i still think of home. i really want to be there yet it's really hard. weighing the cost and benefit. been busy with stuff at uni and thinking about going home might just add to the burden. mum's birthday is next week. want to spend the weekend with my family. but then...it's a crucial week for assignments as well. so what's the verdict?? should i go back home or not?? i can always do my work there. just the travelling hours might be slightly tiring.

so what now?? how do i make a decision?? i feel really lonely at times. pouring over my books just don't make that feeling go away. it sometimes even enhances it =S...sad really. eating alone. reading alone. sitting alone. argh!!!! pathetic huh?? why do i have to think so much rite?? just go home...but... there'll always be a but.sien.

anyway, gtg decide and get back to my work. at least today will be going out with a friend. hopefully she doesn't ditch me half way. HAHA.

monash 2!!

2009-02-27T12:10:00.004+08:00

so...

lol.actually, i had already typed a blog out when i was in the library. it started with that first line. and, let me tell you there were more lines there before the computer hanged in the library. now, i'm using my friend's laptop. guess what?? surprise surprise...there is some problems with connecting my laptop to the internet port in my room=.=..it's sad really. i had to call the hotline and all and still NOTHING could be done. the guy couldn't figure out what's the problem=S. and, the thing is my housemates seem to be able to use their internet line. no other complaints about it except that its slow. it's ridiculous really. since, according to my housemate the previous user had no problems what-so-ever about the port. of all times to break down...it had to be mine. well, sien as it is i have to bear with it until Monday...cause the maintanence guys only work on MONDAY AND THURSDAY. i was like ??? they must be earning a great deal of money already or who knows they're cuttin down cost. yeah yeah...its the economic downturn=.=

ok..back to monash. so i guess it's not that bad seeing as we pay a great deal for all the facilities especially for the library. we were told that millions were spent each year for all the resources provided whether in paper or online. so, hopefully it's easy to find and it'll be very useful to us all.

orientation has ended and now...it's giving back time!! not that i'm that excited but i don't mind some work on my hands to forget being homesick and missing my family alot. i know i know...compared to other students from other countries my home isn't all that far. i can even go back home every weekend seeing as my time table which gives me mondays and fridays off =D. hehe. happy about that. but, still not happy about not having internet to use when i have free time=.=. but, it's costly and i shouldn't waste any more of my dad's money. besides, i should be more independent no??^^

my roommie's suppose to be coming tomorrow. well, it's the start of a new month already isn't it. hopefully i'll be a good roommate and so will she. hehe. praying hard all goes fine as it has been great so far. i've got new friends and it's a great new beginning. though, i think i should warn my roommate about the condition of our condo. or...should i let her find it out herself?? lol. anyway i'll find out soon enough whether she's a senior or not. maybe she already has friends here. till tomorrow=]

well...i guess for now that'll be it. wanna get something to eat or munch on. appetite not that great lately. till next blog^^

monash!!!

2009-02-26T16:57:00.003+08:00

well, i finally got to MONASH KL. its campus looks small on the map but let me tell u its big. the buildings have many many floors. if the lift breaks down i wonder...lol.

anyway, i havent been online in quite some time. well, i have just that i havent been bloggin much seeing as the connection here...i havent got a connection at my hostel!!! its really annoying really. its not wireless and i have to wait for another 2days AFTER handing in a form then only can i access it which is tomorrow. haha. hopefully it works by then. right now, it's torture not having any internet to access to. though yesterday i managed to borrow my housemate's laptop to use. she's really kind enough to lend it to me especially when she wanted to study and all. i guess the look on my face really showed here how much i needed it (really...i was practically begging already.lol...sad case)...

another sad case...library closes at 530pm today=.=...u'd think they'd put it a lil longer. i guess its like the australian system =S..work till 5. lol. anyway...will blabber on more bout this when i get my line which hopefully is tomorrow ^^

2009-02-19T14:20:00.002+08:00

went shopping with mum yesterday for all the stuff i need to take to KL. i realy dawned on me that i'll be leaving home real real soon. haih...
but, i'm taking it in good hands and i'll try my best to fit in when i get there. be optimistic right??
so...i got all the stuff i need and i started packing everything up already. clothes is one whole load itself.lol...
well, now all i'm waiting for is my hostel acceptance. i pray i'll get a reply soon...

ash came by yesterday too. it's like small farewell between us. she came over. we had lunch. tons of food....but ash's on diet=p...still the fun part was chatting with her. it's really sad that we'll be going separate ways already. at least i'll still be back once in a while...so ash...don't be sad yea^^
all the best in your entrance exam ash!!=]

gotta get my comp fixed today. will get it back this weekend. so till then^^

no title

2009-02-17T17:42:00.002+08:00

just felt like blogging...
what about??
i don't really know.
i'm blogging as i go on arent i??
LOL
my day has been busy...
moving in and out of the house...
going places...
here and there.
so now i'm here...
blogging=]
well...
i'm going to leave home soon...
*sighs*
gonna miss home a lot.
but i'll be back once a month the least.
so nothing to worry about right??
now i just hope everything will go well there..
and back home too
*crosses fingers*

oh yea...i've cut my hair^^

valentine's!!

2009-02-16T16:53:00.003+08:00

my dear managed to get back early last week just to see me for valentine's^^ (thank you dear!!!!). Went to fetch him and hung out with him for the rest of the day. I even knew that i would get some good news. had a feeling...hehe. guess what??

I'll be going to monash KL!!!!

yes...i finally got a reply from them. it's a lil too last minute and hostel accommodation will take a while to get. and, my orientation is next week!!! okok. there's nothing to panic about. i got this week to take care of everything^^. i'm excited. but at the same time i'm nervous. none of my friends are going there. so right now i'm worried i'll be alone. but, that's what uni is all about right?? making friends and having fun and of course...studying. so, this week i'm going to prepare myself for whatever is ahead of me. i'm pushing forth and bracing myself for whatever comes my way. being optimistic is the best way to keep my nerves. lol.

ok...i'm suppose to be talking about valentine's. hehe. well, piggy dear and i had our valentine lunch a day before the day. well, we didn't have any other plans so we decided to head to Seoul Garden for lunch. my dear really loves the place cause it's all you can eat. there's bbq steamboat and steamboat. well, a mini version of it. and, there's definitely tons of dessert. fruits, ice kacang, ice cream, etc.. it was a fun day.

on valentine's, my dad took my family and i (his girls=D) out for Vietnamese dinner. it's a place at e-gate called Miss Saigon. a nice place, you should try^^. neway we had a dinner platter (no pic...sorry...saw a couple next to us taking tons of photos too. seems funny to me all of a sudden. so din take any photos. lol). after dinner, we went to Auto City's Tao. wanted to have some drinks and 'lepak'. lenny met us there. we also walked along the Flea Market and Factory Outlet. Clothes there aren't bad though we didn't buy any that night.the place was really crowded with couples. but all in all it was a fun night. i think i got a bit drunk too^^

well, that's all for now. have to start packing or my dear says i'll forget stuff. till next blog^^

baking day^^

2009-02-04T21:05:00.002+08:00

i decided to do some baking today. since i have not much on my hands anyway. lol. i took out an old recipe book which my aunt bought for me a few years back. it's actually a kid's guide for cooking simple dishes. breakfast, lunch, tea, desserts^^...yummy!!

anyway, i got all the ingredients ready to start baking...BREAD AND BUTTER PUDDING!!

hehe...it went quite well though my mum insisted on butting in when she said i should do it myself =.=...she was very helpful though. she did most of the hard work. this is the first time for me...so don't judge me=p. but all in all, it was a job well done. everyone enjoyed eating it. the next time i'm eating it, i'll top it with ice cream =D

sorry no photos available...will save the photos for my next dish^^

missing him

2009-02-02T21:55:00.002+08:00

the weeks passed like a blur. i had good times and bad times. but one thing's for sure is that i spent it with him there. whether it is for breakfast or hanging out at the mall. he was always there. he still is but not in person though. now we can talk through the phone for long hours but i still prefer talking to him face to face. i miss him!! *sighs*

today...i didn't do much. woke up, watched tv, read Harry Potter 6 (forgot i even had it...lol), ate lunch, read HP6, slept for hours, woke up to walk the dog, dinner, tv, book, onlining, currently blogging, hehe...

it's not a great day but i'm glad i had a chance to wake up to a brand new day. though my parents seem to be moody at each other (again..even the maid can feel the heavy atmosphere around them...sien). hopefully it'll get better 2mr. speaking about tomorrow, i'll be visitting my dear CBM. it's been long since i was last there. now i'm just going to get something from a friend. don't know if i should say hi to my teachers or not. what's there to tell. i'm not doing much these days and i don't even know if i'm accepted to Monash!! this is where i miss having my dear around. he'll be here hugging me. haih..

oh well...i guess i'll be seeing him during V Day^^. hmm... what should i get him??
anyway dear...love you!! miss you!!^^

sister's birthday

2009-01-31T11:33:00.002+08:00

yesterday was my baby sister's birthday. lol. well she's no longer a baby. in fact im more of the baby than her but still she's my baby sis and i love her loads. muax!!^^

i woke up at 5.30 am to put her present beside her bed. i wanted to surprise her with it. i shared the present with two others who really want to impress her=p. i didn't get to see her reaction towards finding the present there in her room but when i saw her after breakfast, she seemed thrilled about it. her face showed happiness, tons of it. seeing that made me happy too. i guess this must be the 1st time i ever surprised her with something. i'm glad it went well and she loved it=).

we headed for her birthday lunch with my cousins. we ate korean bbq. it was not bad. expensive though=S. sis had a small disagreement with my mum but she came out of it and said sorry to my mum after lunch. that was something i rarely see but its a good start. now i know i can slowly see change. i'm extra happy=D

then, we kiddos went for a movie. INKHEART! it was a great movie. action packed with comedy scenes. at first we wanted to watch THE WEDDING GAME. it was sold out=(. next time ba. hehe. still inkheart was a good movie. you should watch it for yourself. you'd love it^^

we came home after that to cut the cake. will post the pic soon. after sending cousins home i had to get ready for joshua's party. bf was already there and pestering me to go quick. lol. love ya!! had fun there. played cards but gambled with peanuts. lol. a bad player i am definitely lost all her peanuts. sadly... but it was fun all the same. met aaron and louise. they look like a great couple. i can see he really adores her. jealous...yea...but my dear is enough^^

ok ba. that's all for now.till next time!!

CNY...1st day

2009-01-26T23:30:00.010+08:00

well...it was a great day. spend the whole day out. went to church in the morning then penang for lunch then taiping for dinner^^. all was well. weather was fine though it rained at taiping. but still we had fun. did our rounds. the usual 'ang pau' and this year we got to watch live lion dance at close range. was really nice. here are some pics...

ok...i think its time for a time out again.lol.kinda tired after all that rounding.toodles people. till next blog^^

weekend..

2009-01-24T18:36:00.003+08:00

i had a terrible start to my weekend. kinda went crazy a lil. Lol. but everything's fine already. today i even managed to tire myself out to think about anything. what i did was help my mum clean the house. it's a tiring job. i wonder how the maids manage. i cleaned my toilet for the 1st time. i mean its been cleaned of course but never by me..hehe...yes the 1st time. a very...interesting experience. slipped once but am fine. did a lot of other stuff too. helped my mum a lot. hope everything's really done cause tomorrow is the family reunion = makan time!! hehe. this will be the sign that CNY is very very near.

happy time = makan time = fattening up time!!
happy CNY people!!

lol. my whole body is aching right now. time for a time out ^^

break

2009-01-20T15:06:00.002+08:00

tired...
bored...
haih...

there's nothing much to blog about either.
so will be taking a break till maybe CNY.
hopefully CNY will bring out the best of us all.
have fun noh?^^

dying...

2009-01-16T21:57:00.004+08:00

im starting to have too much time on my hands. but the weird thing is...with all that time you would think that i'll try to make the best out of it. yea, i do do some reading, watch tv, walk in the evenings...but that's about all. sometimes i get too tired of all those that i start getting emo, which was what has happened the past few days. i guess that's the reason why i've been picking fights with my mum, dad, sis, and especially my bf =(...after i get emo with them then only do i realise my mistake. that it's my fault not theirs on whatever matter it is. my bf is the most tolerant. most of the time i feel that i don't deserve him. he's always patient and nice to me. he tries his best to be there for me. but, the worse part is i don't appreciate him until i get him mad at me or when he doesn't talk to me. i get very scared when he does that. i feel like i'm gonna lose him. will i??

i got emo with him today too. it was too late when i realised that i treated him real bad when all he tried to do was make me happy. i really don't know what's wrong with me anymore. maybe it's cause my mum has been pestering me bout my results and studies or because when i check the scholarship applications today my results is not enough to apply as they want 90. then i got a call from the counselling centre and they told me they lost the photostated copy of my ic. i was wondering why i didn't get a reply from monash. then i thought what if it's too late and my application is not accepted as they might think i'm irresponsible. come to think of it...i'm the one to blame nobody else. argh!!! i'm getting really messed up these days. i find it hard to fall asleep as i worry and think too much. i sleep in cause when i wake up i feel as if i have no purpose in waking up. and, i get really tired doing a simple thing like air the clothes cause i keep too much in my head that it burdens me. i feel that i might go crazy if this keeps on going.

i keep making myself depressed over small things like my mum asking me what food should she buy or when she asks me to help her get her phone. when i get depressed i get hot headed and angry at every single thing. i start munching on food to lose that depressed feeling. is this the 1st stage of depression?? how can it be??!! i haven't even started uni yet. in fact, to tell you the truth, i want to get into uni as soon as i can. to start studying. crazy huh?? and, you know what, at the start of my holidays i was telling my parents that i'd wait for 6 months to begin my studies. relax a bit or work some part time job. but see where i am now??? i'm going mad in my home T.T...i can't go out as my friends have other things to handle or when i want to go out my mum wants me to help her with something. though my bf is wiling enough to spend time with me, now i realise that he has a very good social life and being with me hinders that. but when i try to let him do his own stuff i pull him back by being emo that he won't be spending time with me. i tried joining his circle. but my nature of not be sociable makes me pull further away from that circle, feeling that i don't fit everytime. i'm being paranoid aren't i??

i know i should be changing but i think right now i might just be pms'ing. haih. but still i should be more sociable, exercise whenever i can, keep myself calm and STOP THINKING SO MUCH!! *sighs* i make my days a disaster. there's a reason why we live an extra day...God wants us to make full use of it for our good and others too. i guess i'll just have to ask God to give me another chance and ask my bf to give me another chance. i have to try...

excuses

2009-01-13T15:18:00.000+08:00

there is a saying that...

the most crippling failure disease is excuses.

come to think of it i have that disease=S..i'm sure if u ask my bf he'll know about it.he's right...most of the time i give excuses to get out of doing certain things either i'm too lazy or i bring up 'something' to do. maybe that is why i don't move on at all *sighs*. instead i get pulled back.

i promised myself that i will start exercising. wake up early and get morning walks. but until yesterday - the 1st day i actually went for a walk in the morning - i usually woke up late in the morning to watch tv or have a light breakfast. that was how my day usually started. i never realised waking up early to have a walk or have breakfast with my family would be a better way to start my day. it was a refreshing start, yesterday. however, i'm not surprised that it didn't last. i started my old routine again today. i woke up. saw a nice movie on tv - Ann Rules's: Stranger Beside Me, a nice movie about a serial killer who kills young beautiful girls and rapes them after that. usually it wouldn't have been my choice of movie. ash changed it. lol. she made it a 'must watch' movie.

yesterday, i didn't sleep much. i woke up really early to read my book - Memory Keeper's Daughter by Kim Edwards, something from ash too (hehe). the 'nightmare' i got last night kept me awake. to my surprise for the rest of the day...from the walk to dinner i didn't feel tired or sleepy. the exercise in the morning must have kept me from feeling tired. it was an amazing feeling. pushing myself to wake up early, read a book, take a walk, watch tv in the afternoon, book again (which i managed to finish =D..it's an amazing book to read.great story line)...it was a relaxing day. i got to talk to my bf too during supper. it was a superb day. one of a kind. thank you, Lord, for giving me yet another day to live in ^^

well...i'm off to get another day up and running!!

family day out

2009-01-10T23:40:00.004+08:00

its been a while since my family and i spent a full day out. we started the day by going for sunday mass. was kinda sleepy as i didn't get enough sleep the night before. but still the day went quite well. went for breakfast with my parents (bf overslept =.=) and i told them that my sis (had cathecism) wanted to go to penang to get some stationary and well, we actually just want to see our cousins and their new dog =D. after much pursuading, my dad agreed on going. he was a bit cranky as he was the one who has to drive us there and it is quite far as my aunt's house is in tanjung bunga (he drove quite fast...i kinda felt sick after a while.too tired to think though.lol.). anyway, when we got there my parents and i went for lunch at the nearby cafe, we ate indian food which was great. we had a little too much though. hehe. my sis wasn't hungry and didn't feel like eating which kinda pissed my dad off as she hasn't been eating much lately (main meals that is...she eats tons of chocolates XD). after lunch, we headed back to my aunt's house...to play with the dog. these are the shots i got when we were playing with Rusty. FIY this little puppy really sleeps a lot.

after an hour or so, my dad indicated that we should leave. we did take up my aunt's time already but it was great that we got to see them seeing as my cute youngest cousin has just started Std 1 and my cousin bro is in Form 4. time passes really fast. so, we then headed to Gurney Plaza to get the stuff we wanted. walked around a little, circled around the place, did people watching, didn't buy stuff, sadly...but, we did have dinner at one of our favourite family dining spots...Chilli's Grill and Bar. food there is kinda expensive but serves amazing food. we weren't really hungry. so we sat and had some drinks. after a while we felt kinda bad for not oredering anything. so we had an appetizer, Classic Nachos. finishing that we ordered a main meal, Chicken Portobello - their newest dish, and a side order of Ceaser's salad to go with it. all of it was superb and really up to standard. we were stuffed up by the time we finished all the food. still, my sis and i really wanted to try the desert. hence...we ordered Milk Chocolate Molten cake (sorry..no pic). this is one of the best deserts i have ever eaten and we all had fun eating it except my dad who doesn't have deserts.lol.

by the time we got up to leave, we could barely walk straight. we were all, technically, filled to the brim. thankfully, we reached to the car park in one piece and none of us threw up. this time mum drove us home. my parents don't really trust me at the wheel just yet *sighs*. but i was feeling tired anyway. so, we got home safe and sound and started getting ready for the next day. which in my case would be watching tv and sleeping. sienness. but all in all, it was a great day out^^

interview

2009-01-10T23:40:00.002+08:00

ok...so i went for the interview. i'm kinda tired out right now but here i am blogging. the reason i'm still online and even blogging is for one sole reason...my bf =.= whom i saw just now and was with for the entire journey home from KL (he followed me and my mum back) wants me to chat with him online (free ma and faster too..hehe). its kinda cute that he wanted me to chat with him. told him i wanted to sleep already but the emotion in his voice really wanted me to go online. so here i am. or maybe...i was just hallucinating. lol. but i love my dear all the same. he was emo at me when we were at the education fair. i guess he was not wrong to feel that way. my fault. sorry dear =(. but he seems better already. so i'm feeling happy too =D

okok...enough of my lenny dear =p...
so how did my interview go??well it was good actually. at the start i was really negative about it. regretting that i even went to KL. cause the lady there told us that i might not get the full scholarship to study there which i was hoping for. that made me get more nagging from my mum. however, i still registered and got my butt to that interview. managed to get an earlier slot. i sat with three other students Alexis, Eugene and an Indian boy (can't recall his name...didn't quite get it cause i wasn't paying attention...paiseh...). oh yea, and the interviewer was a law professor, Prof. Micheal. he prepped us on the interview. he'll pose questions and we're to answer it in a group discussion (reminds me of debate in high school). i'll list the questions:

1: What are the serious problems facing the future of the world?
i started the discussion by talking about environmental issues. had a few other points. kinda lazy to list it out. hehe. the others continued with civil war, depleting resources and health.

2: what are the ways to solve war?
answers: political discussion, agreement on aid for citizens, UN, etc.

3: what is the purpose of our lives on earth?
there were quite a number of answers one of which is living life to the fullest. i said that it is so that we can learn to live with one another.

4: Why did God make the world?
answers: as an experiment and as an entertainment (rejected)

5: if it were to be true that God exists and that he made us as an experiment, does our purpose in life change?
2 of us answered no (including me) and the other yes. reasons...lol..go figure=p

6: what if there is no God and Charles Darwin's theory of Survival of the Fittest is true, then will our purpose in life change?
answers: 3 yes, 1 no...i said yes...i believe we will compete to be the best and stay on top. one gave answer of revolution. another said that we will still keep our purpose of learning through experience and help others but still be the best.

that's bout all. we talked amongst ourselves a little while the prof evaluated us. he said we did quite well which was a relief but then again we're still amongst the hundreds who applied for this scholarship. anyway i'm still hoping for the best. oh yea, before we left, the indian guy ask the prof whether he believed in God. guess what?? he says he wants to but he just can't. he's siding Darwin in this case cause he's and intellect. seeing is believing to him. to me...God exists. i believe so and will continue to believe in Him^^

i'm tired...will be heading to bed now..nitey!!

choice...

2009-01-09T12:49:00.007+08:00

i've made my choice on the interview...

i'll be going!! well, i'm not really that excited. in fact, i'm really nervous about it. to think that i've gone through so many interviews that i would feel less nervous about it. *sighs*..i should face my fears and speak up my views and be less shy. but, everytime my dad asks me what am i gonna say this if they ask this..and so on...i get even more nervous. i know my dad is just trying to prep me up for the interview but he makes me blank everytime he asks a question. but then again it is a lot of help cause i won't go blank in the real interview. i feel as if i should ditch now while i can but i've already sent in my confirmation and paid for application. the least i can do is try right?? so, now, i just have to prepare myself for the interview tomorrow. *crosses fingers* hope all goes well ^^

PS: i just realise its only a preliminary interview =S. if i do get in the next round..i'd have to go to HK. do i want to this?? argh!!!

PSS: I went for belly dancing with my mum today...and boy do i need exercise. mum's been pestering me to follow her. so i thought of giving it a try today. reluctantly got up but i still got up=p and went with her. my body's really stiff and tense. i must've been a real pig these pass days. lol. posture's bad too. haih. must exercise more T.T

trauma...

2009-01-09T12:46:00.002+08:00

Yesterday…

I felt my high schooling years come back to me. I followed my sis to register for one of her tuitions. It was actually one of the tuitions I went to when I was form 3. I felt very left out when I went for that tuition. I was the only one who wasn’t Chinese educated. I barely speak a word of Mandarin or any other Chinese dialect for that matter. I was the only one from my school. And, I was t he nerdiest one there (or I seem to be). So, you can guess how out of place I felt at that time. But my mum said it would be good for me. My cousin went for that tuition and he thought it was good. So guess what I have to go too. And, that tuition was the 1^st tuition that I was sent to after years of schooling. It was a traumatic experience. I tried to get the fear out of me and just study hard. At that moment, making friends wasn’t really an option cause none of them wanted to talk to me. Well, so be it. However, when I started doing quite well in the teacher’s class, people wanted to talk to me just so they could get answers from me. Better to have someone talk to you than be alienated right? That’s why I didn’t care much about it. I went through the year alright and to me getting the results after that was better. I told myself I won’t feel that way again. I will try my best to fit in if I can. If I can’t I’ll just have to deal with it slowly. But, when I saw that classroom and the teacher after all those years, I felt that same trauma again. And, no doubt, my sis knows how it feels like too. I don’t know what she’ll do next though. She’s a bit unpredictable. Me, I have to face the fact that I’ll be going through a lot of these kind of situations. And, I cannot always run from it. I have to try face my fear of socializing with people that I’m not close with. I have to try and I will ^^.

zzz...

2009-01-07T21:49:00.002+08:00

today...

was a tiring day=(. the funny thing is all i did was sleep. i slept quite late the night before but woke up early this morning to send my dear to the bus station. it was good too. gave me a chance to wake up early. have been a pig since the holidays started =S. before i left home, took the dog for a walk. i didn't realise how cooling it was to walk in the morning. i might start heading for early morning walks starting tomorrow. lol. hopefully i keep my word for it. anyway, after that, i went for breakfast with lenny dear. we spent time chatting after that. i'm missing him so much. i guess i got used to having him around for almost 2 weeks already that it feels weird not having him around. like something's missing. but then again, i really caught up on last night's sleep that i was barely awake this afternoon. it was lucky he wasn't here. or i'd be really cranky when he's around especially if he starts playing a fool =p (i know you'd be reading this).

so...

i was sleeping...sleeping...sleeping...zzz... for almost half a day. i know its not healthy. if i did not eat then it'll be worse. but what's worse is that i ate lunch then i went back to lie down on my bed. guess what, i fell asleep. i was suppose to finish filling in my application form for the University of Hong Kong. my eyes were closing everytime i tried to concentrate. i was thinking i'd rest a while. i didn't know that it'll be until dinner time. then again, i had to wait for my sis for dinner so i went for a short walk and bathed. felt better after that. but somehow, i felt as if there was a moody atmosphere around me. like everyone was being hostile to one another. my parents weren't talking much and this of course made my sis a little moody but she had school work to do. and, my sis being back to school gave my parents her schooling life as a hot topic. well, i'm just a bystander. i didn't want to be moody too so i pretended like everything was ok.

maybe...

the reason i was sleeping so much was because there were problems around me that i did not want to deal with at the moment.
1st was yesterday's problem...which i really do not want to talk about or make an issue out of it. but no matter how i see it i put myself in fault. just that i'm really tired and do not want to think about it for now. the discovery in the morning kept me happy for a while and kinda made my day. ok. gonna stop about this nonsense now.

2nd was and is my HKU application and scholarship interview. i had my head set on going for the interview. but then, i started thinking on how much my dad would have to spend on sending me to KL and the application fee and sending me to HK if i do really get it (i had a feeling i might get it...but not anymore). the fear of not getting what everyone else thhought i could get is really heartbreaking for me. its like when i had great results for my SPM. everyone thought i could get a scholarship to go overseas. i did not get even a single one. i ended up spending thousands of ringgit of my dad's money for pre-u (which i did not do as well as my parents thought i would). when i see the disappointment in their faces. i get disappointed in myself. i start losing hope. and so i thought maybe there is a possiblity of me getting this HKU scholarship. but my dad got me thinking again. whether this uni is what i want. is it where i wanna go. truthfully...right now i don't know what i want. to me, so long as i can be the girl my parents are proud of, i'm happy. its sad when i don't know how to make my own decisions. i'm really fickle minded. its a bummer you know. haih. i still have to make a choice. which i'm not sure of at the moment...

3rd is the fact that my parents are not really on a talking mode. i wish i knew what it is that's standing in between them. usually i'd know. but today, they're just talking for the sake of talking in front of me and my sis (which is way not good). i know they'd be better again tomorrow but the situation now really bugs me. i can't say anything either cause i know how it'll end up if i do. i tried it was and believe me. from that day onwards, i just kept quite and pretended like nothing happend. when it gets really frustrating and when they start saying that i pick sides, then i'll blow. my sis is braver though. she usually speaks up but i guess today, she's tired too. we're all tired. tired of what...we each have our reasons.

well...

that's about all for today. i have to start one more resolution. STOP BEING A PIG ^^
not going to bed yet but will start making my choice. start thinking again. sien.
anyway...someone's eager to read my blog (you know who you are =p) so until my next blog. toodles!!

e-day

2009-01-05T22:40:00.003+08:00

i have been emo'ing for the whole day. i think i got out of the wrong side of the bed. seriously...the moment i woke up i was already in a foul mood. i guess i was really feeling unwell. i didn't want to get out of bed but the more i stayed in bed the worse i felt. so, in the end i got our of bed. dragged myself downstairs for breakfast. i was really lazy to get my butt moving. but my day had to start and i guess it started quite badly. so for the whole day i was either moping in bed, online just to know there's no one to chat with, sms'ing, feeling angry at myself for not finding a job or doing something better with my time...haih.

then, my bf wanted to go out. i was really lazy to go out. i decided to change my mind. if i were to mope around the house or sleep like a pig i might as well try going out n take a breather. relax a bit. and he was going back to uni tomorrow. haih. but i was still in my foul mood. and i got on my nerves everytime he tried to be playful or even talking to me. i feel really awful for doing so. i guess another reason why i'm emo is that he'll be faraway from me after tomorrow. it saddens me. cause then i won't see him for yet another week. i should try getting use to it. haih. all in all it turned out i was the one in fault for giving myself a bad day. sulking, moping, emo'ing...all are bad for health. i should start exercising my brains n clear my mind =S

PS: sorry...sighing alot...

new year's

2009-01-05T11:15:00.003+08:00

its been a while since i've blogged. lol. neway what is there to update about my daily life??hmm...

on new year's eve, i went for badminton with lenny dear and his friends. i met his 'badminton gang'. haven't met much of his friends. so at least i got to meet some of them that day. one of them was joshua. at least i knew someone else there. but it was great fun. played a game or two. but mostly i was tired out by the end of the game. that night we planned to go to auto city for countdown. haih. sadly, we didn't but...my sis, bf and i went to my aunt's house for bbq. it was a small gathering only but the food was superb. and, we all had fun. however, badminton earlier really did the trick. by the time dinner was over i was tired out. that's why i decided to stay home and watch Pirates of the Carribean Trilogy XD. instead of going for countdown. parents were out and they weren't thrilled with the fact of us spending time at AC. so...it was laying back at home for me during midnight. which was a bit saddening cause i wanted to do something different for the start of the new year. my life's usually stuck to my family. haven't been to countdown with friends or spend time on outings with friends during festive seasons. but it's not ABnormal you know. so don't dare give me weird looks.

anyway, the days seem to pass by without much of me doing much. lol. hang out at home. went to penang shopping before sis started schooling again. though this year...must cut down on shopping. recession year=(...sad...really sad. and, this year, i'm going to have to leave home again for uni year. another sad thing. i don't know whether to feel excited or not cause this time i'm going to leave penang and most probably head for KL (applied for Monash Malaysia already...not sure if i got it or not though..hoping i will). so, i'm kinda afraid of leaving home. might not come home so often but it might do my parents good regarding spending more time with my sis. their bonding time *crosses fingers*. was thinking about going to Australia. would be a good experience but i dunno if i can leave for so far a place just yet. so maybe for now it'll be KL. besides, Aus would be more expensive noh?? since i deferred my entrance to Aus unis to July it shouldn't be much of a problem if change my mind which i often do according to my dear. i guess i have to try get some scholarship. i really want to loose my parents' burden. i'm gonna try my very very best^^. so let's hope for the best.

christmas week

2008-12-29T12:39:00.004+08:00

well, i haven't been blogging since christmas eve, have i?? lol. it's been a while.

so what is there to update you about my christmas...hmm...on the eve, we had my granny's birthday dinner in penang. we met our relatives, talked and had a great dinner. made a card for my granny too^^. that afternoon, my sis and i were just lazing around, watching gilmore girls of course =D. we managed to finish wathcing the series on christmas or was it after. am not too sure. then, at the stroke of midnight, we opened presents!! not telling what are they=p. anyway, on christmas morning, we went to church, then we went for lunch at my aunt's place. turkey, pies. pasta...all our favourites. what more could we ask for. hehe. dinner was in penang, seafood, Bali Hai, with my dad's sis, the aunt who's visiting from UK and her family (too many aunts...lol). had a great time. we did loads of talking with our cousins this time around until we couldn't stop when our parents wanted to leave. uncle peter was not feeling well so they had to leave early. but he was a good sport for showing up. and, steph(cousin) was leaving the next day for Thailand. again. lol. she seems to love it there. anyway, the days after that were a blur. i went through my weekend just lazing around the house with my sis (my faithful companion=p), watching tv etc. ...so that is about it. there wasn't much of the christmas mood in the air this year but all the same. it was nice. spent time with my family and my special someone. so everything really is going well and that's all that matters =)

PS: i think my blogging resolution might go down the drain soon enough =S

thx kathy

2008-12-29T12:19:00.002+08:00

kathy's party was a blast last night. for one, i got a chance to meet some of my friends whom i have not met for quite some time. not many of our high school friends could make it. but nonetheless, i got to meet div, veha, khat, joshua, kathy. we chatted and had a great dinner. kathy's mum is a real good cook. her pasta was delicious!! LOL. oh yea...did i mention, the place was amazing. it looked really nice at night. and we were even by the pool. my bf threatened to push me into the pool before we left. had to avoid going anywhere near it. lol. anyway after dinner, we played taboo. its a guessing game like charade but we can't really use actions. just using words but not words on the card given. so we got into two groups. i really sucked at it. on my turn, my team members managed to guess only one. lol. but either way, it was good fun. most of us were getting tired, so we decided to head home. the trip home was almost the same as when we went there. jams everywhere. it's really stressful you know. lenard was getting sleepy, but he managed to bring us all back home safely. thanks dear!!^^ all in all, it was a great party. and, i totally forgot, we were actually celebrating kathy's farewell. she'll be leaving for US soon. its hard to tell when we'll see her again. sad...we're all going our separate ways. but, i guess it's for the better.

take care kathy!!GBU^^

special someone...

2008-12-29T12:04:00.002+08:00

its a wonder how a person can make you smile the broadest smile ever
and make you sad like your heart is breaking into pieces
but the sad part doesn't seem to matter
because the fact that this person makes you the happiest person ever
just by saying he can't be mad at you anymore
how can he?
because right there and then
you know he can't lose you as much as you can't lose him

i've found my special someone
and no matter how cold he is to me sometimes
for things that i'm usually responsible of
and regret doing
because i know he's right (he usually is)
i'll remain his
just knowing he'll be there no matter what
is a good enough reason to stay his
^^

hanging out

2008-12-23T10:56:00.003+08:00

yesterday was yet another wonderful day!! this time i got to hang out with some of my college mates...Ash, JW, JS, Bryan...the rest couldn't make it. and, my sis came along too. she seem to had a lot of fun too. ash really entertained her with her chatter. lol. Thanks ash!!!

okay...so what did we do???

my sis and i went to ash's house to pick her up. it was suppose to be the meeting point too. but, since jw was stuck in the jam on the bridge which is an everyday occurance, unfortunately, so we went to Jusco first. while i was driving, ash was talking to my sis. so at the start itself, they got comfortable with one another. ash is really the kind of friend that everyone needs. a person who helps you fit in=). so my sis did not feel left out. so we got there. bought the movie tickets for Yes Man. it was a really funny movie. Jim carrey...the lead actor was as usual, the funny man. this time well he was yes man. lol. but it was great, though at 1st the screen was kinda blurry but it got better. we laughed from te beginning till the end XD

after the movie, we walked around a while looking for a place to eat. we talked a bit and talking to Bryan was a whole new experience. he's really a changed person. the work experience he got really took him somewhere better. good for him=). anyway, we settled for Black Canyon. had a good meal while talking. then, as if dinner wasnt enough the guys wanted doughnuts. went to Big Apple Donut which just right accross. JW bought 12 while ash bought 6. Bryan...bought ONE. LOL. the guy serving him was about to laugh out loud when bryan said one. i guess it kinda unusual. but then again the waiter should not have been that way. lol.

we started walking again. we girls bought ice cream at mcd while the guys stood by waiting for us to offer them.lol.since bryan was kinda tired and it was getting a bit late, the guys headed back for penang. a few minutes after we too headed home. hanged out at ash's house for a while. played Uno Stacko and Chuo Dai Di aka Big2. it was great fun. ash even gave us muruku to take home. thanks again ash!!

all in all, it was a great day^^

dinner with the ridals^^

2008-12-22T16:00:00.003+08:00

so my aunt's back in Malaysia with her husband and her two daughters, my cousins. we decided to meet up with them last night for dinner. it was annoying as the traffic jam had already started although it was only 6pm on a Sunday evening. or maybe it's just another of those days where everyone thinks "at this time, i'm sure there'll be no jam..." swt!!!

anyway once we were at their hotel we exchanged gifts, talked a bit about how my sister has grown and is almost the same height as me=.=... then we walked over to a hawker centre just down the road. there were many stalls up by the sidewalk. some were selling handbags, clothes, souvenirs and of course, dvds. LOL. the attraction of the night especially for my aunt and cousins.

so we ate, had quite a number of food (as per usual). hence, explains the leftovers. our parents were talking to one another while my cousins were talking among themselves while my sister and i were doing the same thing. over the years, our bonds as cousins were not strong. we rarely spoke and at these kinda times, we kept to ourselves. i tried speaking up last year, but i guess it did not go as i planned but i was better but a small percentage.

however, this year my cousins started the chatter instead (too bored i guess..seriously, it was). it was shocking but then fun at the same time. less bored but we managed to tell a bit more about one another. one of my cousins already graduated while another is travelling and Thailand is by far her favourite.LOL. so the night got better. i managed to buy my Gilmore Girls Season 7 dvd!!!whoo hoo!!!hehe. really excited about it.watched like 4episodes already today.

anyway, last night was okay. gonna meet them up for christmas. and the chocolates my aunt got for us...LOL. my sis was way psyched bout it. oh gotta run. going out with my sis and college mates today^^

thx shangi...

2008-12-21T14:31:00.003+08:00

today...i have another reason to be happy. i received a letter. inside was a card from my best friend in high school, Shangi. thanks gal!!! i was smiling from ear to ear when i received it. she wished me and my family Merry Christmas and hope we had a good holiday. she still takes me as her best friend. me?? i guess i do. we've been friends for ages and if we can't stay best friends. being close friends is enough. so long as we keep in touch=)

"its a wonder how small things like a card can make a difference to your day^^"

...(part 2)

2008-12-21T14:09:00.002+08:00

okay...i'm sorry about my post before. was kinda moody at that time. i guess i didn't get enough sleep last night. was kinda having a breakdown last night. a good dosage a crying usually helps me sleep better. LOL. but the after effect is usually hazardous. my eyes get PUFFY!!! =(. this usually gets my parents questioning me but nowadays they rarely ask. and if they do i will just say i didn't get enough sleep which is actually true. so i'm not lying =p. i'm sure you were wondering why i was crying...so just refer to the blog before. try to decipher it XD

so usually after a dose of crying in the late hours of the night (i'm a sensitive person ok...so sue me for crying if you think it's childish=p), i get a bit crazy. over-the-top at times. i don't know why it happens but it does. and, if my sister is in a moody mood too...she'd shoot me with bullets of words if i dare cross her path. seriously... but today, fortunately for me, she was in a good mood. and, both of us had fun fooling around as in hitting each other, joking around...that kinda thing. bonding of sisters=) so my moodiness usually goes down the drain. sometimes crying is a good way to relief yourself though these days i do it kinda often.

i was and maybe still am a cry baby. when i was young if i cried over something my dad would get angry. he told me that crying won't change anythin. i guess you can say i was spoilt. and he will have this look on his face that i feared and still fear. i don't like to get him mad at me. so i try my very best to not cry or be too sensitive. i guess over the years it has gotten better. now i learn to ignore although sometimes i do get defensive (bad...very bad). so i learn to hide things too. but most of the time i blurt it out anyway. it's my nature, can't help it=p.

okay...i'm getting silly already. anyway now i'm fine and having a good sunday with my family. i'll be going to penang too. going to have dinner with my aunt and her family. they came to visit us from UK. they make their trips back during christmas. and, we definitely will get tons of presents!!! but of course we can't just be happy about that part. we're happy they're here to visit us =). can't wait for tonight^^

....

2008-12-21T11:47:00.003+08:00

have you ever felt left out and that you do not fit in to anywhere??
you end up feeling lost and insecure...
not knowing what to do.no one there to help you.
to show you the way.
to tell you that you'll be alright.

"i'm here for you."

so long as you lose your confidence that is exactly what will happen. you get paranoid about your surroundings. thinking that others see you as 'weird' or out-of-the-ordinary. when people see you differently (or so you think), you just want to be ordinary. you want to fit in. maybe this happens when a person thinks too much. a person like me. whose thoughts are always revolved around other people's thoughts whether it is family or friends. one thing that you cannot lose is your thoughts. but these same thoughts are the ones that can either free you or trap you. there's no way or running from them. one has to learn to control them so as to not lose their minds.

so what does this actually have to do with my blog today?? well, once again, i've made myself emo over a small matter. i mulled over a certain thought for far too long. or maybe the fact is i never thought of it. i kept pushing it aside that this time i acted as a magnet and i could no longer avoid whatever it was that i was avoiding. (i'm not making sense am i??)LOL

everyone gets compliments. but everyone gets complaints too. about how they look, what they're wearing, how clumsy they are...or maybe...it's just me. maybe that's the best way to boost up your confidence. accepting critiques and learning from them. improving yourself to be more confident and strong. but sometimes, don't you think it gets a bit annoying when every other day you try so hard to impress yet at the same time the same critiques are held over your head. so can you blame me for trying to shut out thoughts once in a while?? it really is tiring when you think about it. hearing words of complaints about how terrible you can be. it's not nice and it never will be.

i really need someone that i can rely on.
someone that i can trust no matter where, when or how.
it's that someone that makes your upside down world right back up.
that special someone...
have you found yours?^^

Mr Magorium's Wonder Emporium

2008-12-20T11:50:00.002+08:00

Last night, my family decided another movie wouldn't do any harm. and, since we made our dad miss his favourite series...sorry dad=(...we watched a movie entitled as stated above. it rhymes doesn't it. lol. we thought it was one of those christmasy movies. the movie featured stars such as Dustin Hoffman, Natalie Portman and David Bateman. the story mainly revolves around a magical toy store run by Mr. Magorium.

A summary of the movie:
Mr. Magorium knows that his time will be up very soon. that he will be leaving this world after his 243 years of living. hence, he decides to value his toy store and puts his manager, Molly Mahoney as his heir. an accountant, Henry aka Mutant, a non-believer of magic, is put in charge of this task. the magical store soon finds out Mr. M will be leaving and throws a tantrum and so does Molly. she wants Mr. M to stay as she does not believe that she can run the store all by herself. Eric, a loyal customer and friend of Mr M, is a boy who is left out yet feels more at home at the store than anywhere else, narrates this story as chapters of a book. no matter how Molly tries to convince Mr. M to stay, he leaves anyway. the store dies on Mr. Ms departure and loses all its magic. Molly decides to sell the store. Eric manages to convinve Henry to talk Molly out of it. he succeeds as Molly starts to live up to the magic in her. and, the emporium came back to life!!
okok....it is a bit on the childish side but it was a fun movie=p

Quotes from the movie:
"An accountant is a cross between a counter and a mutant." -Mr. M-

"Your life is an occasion. Rise up to it!!" -Mr. M-

Moral of the story: Just believe in yourself...then, anything is possible!!
^^

family...

2008-12-19T21:33:00.002+08:00

ok...
now i know why i usually feel guilty when i get mad at my parents...
coz eventually they make it all better...

like today...we went out for dinner. indian food today. hehe.
we were all in a talking mood and dinner was great.
what more could i ask for
except
being with my family and spending time with them.

appreciate your family members.
they're your best gift ever^^

sighs

2008-12-19T17:39:00.003+08:00

if i were to tell you i got a TER score of 87.70..what would your reaction be??so far i've tested on my parents, a few of my friends, and some of my other family members. Most of them said that it was quite good and to them it is a good enough achievement. As i have said earlier in 'breaking the news', at first my dad was ok with it. but i could see the disappointment in his face. he's my dad, i know. my mum made it clear to me she was not happy. and when she tells others about my results it's like she's ashamed of it. i'm fine with my results although i know i could have done better. still it's in the past. what am i supposed to do about it?? my mum brings it up whenever it concerns getting a scholarship to study or when somebody asks bout my results. she doesn't know it stresses me out whenever she mentions that i disappointed them. i know it is disappointing but what more can i do except move on. that's all i want to do now. MOVE ON!! i can't do it if they keep showing me how disappointed they are in me. what i can do now is try harder for my degree. excel in my 1st year. then only can i get a scholarship and show them that there's more that i can do. i know...it's a big disappointment seeing that others can achieve very high scores especially a certain someone. but then again...i'm happy i passed. no doubt i can't avoid disappointment but yet i'm thankful. i have to prove to my parents and to myself that i can do it!! i can be someone in the future...i hope...

maybe the fact is...i inherited my parents' characteristics more than i intended to. for one, they're both hot headed and not very patient. dad's a bit on the sarcastic side while my mum is sometimes absent minded. and these days it's not getting any better. in fact, it's worse!! i guess this is the reason why i have become a hot headed, absent minded, indecisive freak!!!! it's not nice being me. not fun at all. i've been spoon fed for far too long and now...look where's it got me. questioning myself everytime i make a simple step to the biggest of them all. from what to eat to where to study. it's as if i expect my whole life to be planned out for me but its not. GET OVER IT GLORI!!! that's what i've been telling myself everytime i'm thinking too much or when i get angry over some silly matter. but when i learn to let go, i let it out too much. its always on the extreme side when it comes to either. either i'm too happy or i'm too emo. it's seriously unhealthy. what's more unhealthy is that i blame others for what i did wrong. *sighs* i'm not that simple a person after all am i??LOL. the irony of it.

wow!! i've let out a whole lot there huh?? i guess i was keeping it too much. now my Blog is my
Haven
^^

10q presentation

2008-12-18T21:20:00.004+08:00

was kinda emo today.after lunch i got myself to prepare a thank you presentation for my mum's friend and her family.we stayed at their home during our visit to Perth, Australia.it was the best trip ever.there's really a whole lot of fun stuff that we did there.we stayed for 8days and not one was a bit boring.the house we stayed in was to die for.the exterior and interior were both amazing!!

on our 1st day itself we went wine tasting at a place called Sandalford Wines.unfortunately we did not get to see the wine-making process.it seems that at that period of time,the grapes were not ready to be harvested.however,we still managed to taste a list of wine that they offer.most of them were quite good according to the 'experts' a.k.a. my parents and their friends.then the ladies group (including 2 teenage boys=p) headed to target.its like the carrefour in malaysia.we walked around abit.did some shopping.the dads went to visit one of the golf courses.then we made our way back for dinner, steamboat!!after dinner,we played basketball and soccer.fun!fun!fun!in Perth, time passes by slowly.but, dinner is early and there usually isn't any lunch.in Malaysia,LOL...5 meals a day (breakfast,lunch,tea,dinner,supper)...in those 10 days we got a feel of their lifestyle there.and it really contrasts with our lifestyle here though the contrast, to me, is much better.

okay, i won't go into details for the rest.but i'm gonna list it down instead=D

2nd day: the beach!!!the kids wanted to spend time at the beach as it was a sunday.so we headed to a place called Hilary's.but 1st we went to AQWA.its like a walk-in aquarium.something like the one we have in Langkawi.then we had slight snacks before heading to the beach.did i mention that when the wind blows,you feel as if you're stuck in a refridgerator??lol.well, it's not that bad.it's like in an air-con room with the temperature of 16 degrees celcius.at times,it's really cooling and refreshing.at times,it's plain cold.thus, it explains why my sis and I decided not to go for a swim.instead we stood under a shade and waited for the rest.LOL.with our JACKETS ON!it was the funniest experience ever.and then of course dinner.this time chinese food.best dish...lobster noodles...yummmmmyyy... oh yea..we were introduced to a very famous brand of chips..Smith's..another specialty in Perth XD

3rd day: went to king's park.a very big park with great views of the city.really really breathtaking. then we went shopping!!!to a few places.can't really remember.or was it just one place?lol.it sure was a fun day though.then we went to dine at Sizzler's for dinner. western buffet...a must try.

4th day: we went to the theme park. Adventure World. since it was not a weekend and it was a schooling day...there weren't many people.only a few tourists. we had a few hours to kill and we didn't even have to queue. the most awesome ride was the 1st one, Rampage. according to my sis, it was the coolest ride ever.you'd have to ride it to believe it =). we went for other rides. then it was time to head home.this time....dinner was Japanese. another great meal.

5th day: our bodies were aching from all the walking we did the day before at the theme park.it was exercise i tell you =S...anyway, we went for a river cruise at Mandurah.it was yet another chilling day as it was about to rain. we cruised in man-made canals and saw a few million-dollar houses. something we can't afford but it was nice all the same.the best part of the cruise was that we were lucky enough to see dolphins swimming by.it was a fun experience. later that night, we ate chicken rice at my mum's friend's brother-in-law's house.that was one home-cook meal that you should not miss.made me miss home..

6th day: a tour on 4WD bus to the pinnacles.what are they??they're lime stones emerged 40metres deep in sand.some having a tip of more than 10metres.it was spread out on an open land.then we were brought on a roller coaster ride in the sand dunes in place called Lancelin which is also famous for its cray fish.we stopped at one of the sand hills and did sand boarding. it was real fun that i even went twice!!! even my mum tried it out. a wonderful day out and we ended it with pizza and home-made hokkien mee dinner =D

7th day: we were dead tired by then.but there were still activities not done. we visited the bell tower, Swan Bell Tower. then, we went to Fremantle to shop for souvenirs.a very beautiful place.a port actually.we went for more shopping that day.but after a few hours of shopping and travelling from one place to another, we head home to rest.that night, we had vietnamese.the best beef koey teow soup ever!! LOL

8th day: if i am not mistaken, more shopping.can't really remember what we did that day except that we had chinese dinner and we went back to play poker.oh yea...and we watched get smart on jw's laptop.hehe.i remember the dinner because they served delicious cray fish noodles.one of their specialties.

the next day, we travelled home. we really miss Perth though we couldn't be happier to go back home^^

ps: typing our this blog made me forget i was even emo today=p

thank you ash=)

2008-12-18T21:13:00.004+08:00

today...my friend did the honours of managing and decorating my blog.LOL.the look of my blog is the work of her hands.except for a few minor adjustments.sorry ash,couldn't help myself.hope you don't mind.well, all in all her artistic hands were the ones to produce this work of art.me...my artistic values...well i'm not even sure if i have any=p.anyways... cheers to her!!!^^

breaking the news

2008-12-18T12:41:00.002+08:00

i had to tell my parents about my results earlier due to certain circumstances.*sighs*..at first dad said it was ok.not bad.but when i told them others had higher results much higher than mine,they were kinda disappointed.i got out of the room as quickly as i could,not wanting to see the looks on their faces.but i have to face the music sometime soon.and my mum didnt waste a minute.she knew i was out of focus but not for the reasons that she thinks.i guess i got so immersed with the freedom i had in college life that i lost concentration on the what's most important.it was entirely my fault.and i'm determined to change it for the better.i'll look for better oppurtunites in the future.but for now i hope my parents wont argue bout me anymore.i feel so guilty...

a wonderful day out

2008-12-18T12:04:00.003+08:00

to update u on my birthday..well...it was a blast!!i had so many birthday wishes from many of my friends.thx guys!!really appreciate it=].

ok.so to continue from my previous blog.in the afternoon,my mum,sis and i went to jusco to do some last minute christmas shopping and buy some groceries.after walking around for about an hour plus.we managed to get my birthday cake and finish x'mas shopping.yay!!LOL.so we went for lunch at black canyon.the food there is not bad but it kinda got my sore throat worse.felt kinda sick after dat.so we decided to get the rest of the stuff we needed and head home.the moment i got home all i wanted to do was lie down and get some rest.little did i know the moment i hit the bed i took a longer nap than i was supposed to.

when i woke up,it was near dinner time.i took the dog for a walk to freshen myself up and then came home to get ready for my birthday dinner!!we decided to head to our fav restaurant 23takehana=D.its a place that my family likes to dine at.my dad ordered tons of our fav dishes.however,by the end of dinner,we were really really at our max,about to burst with so much food.lol.my sis was not feeling well and she was a bit moody.that kinda got to my dad's nerves.but dinner ended well.we all had fun especially the birthday girl.having dinner with my family and spending more time with them is the best way to celebrate a birthday=].

then we got home and watched a christmas movie entitled 'baby santa'.a nice heartwarming story about a girl trying to take over her father's job aka santa.things get out of hand at first but with help of many and realisation of the real meaning of christmas,she saves christmas!!all in all,my birthday ended as one of the best ever.yea..i didn't do much but so long as i enjoyed it,that's more than enough^^..oh yea and of course...the cake=D

D-day(cont.)

2008-12-17T11:01:00.004+08:00

i woke up to the sound of my mum whistling outside my room door.waking up blurry eyed and without my specs on i saw her standing at my doorframe asking me to wake up so that we can all go for breakfast, dim sum!!lol.i told her i was sleepy and didnt want to get up.she told me she missed her belly dancing lesson today just to go for breakfast.since she even got my sister to go with us(which is unusual=p),i decided to get my heavy butt up and get ready.somehow,everyone seems to be in a good mood.the atmosphere around me was really peacefull and jolly=].best birthday morning to wake up to, dont you think??so we got to a place called insa dunia and ordered quite a number of dishes.we sat eating and talking for quite a while and we really had fun.everyone happy(although my sis seems to still be in dreamland..LOL).

about an hour or so later.we got back home.everyone back to their own activities.dad on his laptop,mum getting on with housework, and my sis resuming her place on the couch in the living room=p.hehe.me...i got to my room.and, just as i was thinking about checking on my results,ash called.great timing huh??she told me she checked.told me her results and a few others.wow!!that was one big news i got there.many already checked and all.so i got to the task myself.i thought i could postpone it later but ash...was being ash.i checked.the results seeing how i was during that period of time and how i was 'lagging' in my studies for the past year,it was quite good.and, i have GOD to thank.He made me realise that i just have to believe in myself and it'll all be fine.and so far,everything is fine and will be greater.

now, the hard part...telling my parents.seeing their reaction to this particular result.their reaction is the most important to me.i told my sis already.she didnt really understand whether it was good or not but i think to her...well,i dont really know what she was thinking.lol.anyway back to the point.i guess i would have to tell my parents over dinner.and then discuss with them what should be the next move.its gonna have to be different now.i have to compose myself better and hopefully it'll turn out better.but for now,i'm gonna enjoy my birthday!!!^^

D-day

2008-12-17T00:33:00.002+08:00

haha...the day has finally come upon me.my one and only 18th birthday.im officially an 18year old.whatever privilages i get i don't really know though.it think the 21st b-day is the best ade.lol.but all the same, we turn 18 only once.so i'm gonna enjoy today=D

i can't get to sleep but i'm gonna have to try.i think adrenaline is pumping fast in my body.lol.must be due to the blogging XD...

oh yea before i forget.i wanna thank all those who sent me birthday wishes.and of course...to my friend, chiaming who dedicated one of his posts for my birthday=].thx loads!!it definitely is a good way to start of a birthday.

time to sign out...cheers ppl!!^^

B-day

2008-12-16T23:54:00.005+08:00

LoL

The day i reach near adulthood is almost here.

Just a few more minutes away.

I'm bored and stuck in the confinements of my room=[

Waiting for what i'm not so sure.

A miracle perhaps^^

Today was not that great a day.but i'm thankful i have yet another day to live in.

So i went online,checked mails,read my book.

A book entitled 'A Place Called Here' by Cecilia Ahern.

The story goes on about the main character, Sandy Shortt who runs a missing person's agency.

She then finds herself in a place called 'Here' and now she's missing.

A guy whom she was suppose to meet stumbles upon her abondoned stuff and alerts many about her going missing.

No one takes this matter seriously as she disappears all the time but not Jack Ruttle.

It's quite an interesting story.